With the advent of technology, cheap telephony and internet, one thing that has become easy today compared to a few decades ago is “being in touch”! Making outstation calls through mobile is very cheap. Making ISD calls through WhatsApp is free. Making Video calls is a breeze. The result – Tambrahm Mamis and Mamas talk to their children very regularly. But there is always a difference in what Mamis talk about with their children, in particular the daughters and what Mamas talk about with their children. For this article, Mamis and Mamas are those in the age group of 60 – 75 years while the sons and daughters are married and in the age group of 35 – 45.
Most likely illa illa definitely, Mamis talk to their daughters at least once a day if not more frequently while they talk to their sons on a need basis or probably once a week. Mamas talk to their sons and daughters usually on a need basis or once a week.
A Mami’s call to her daughter though happens every day, revolves around a lot of topics and goes something like this:
Suresh office poyaachaa? (Suresh is the son-in-law)
Aadi school ponaana? (Aaditya is the grandson). School bus correct’ a vanthutha?
After those initial ice breakers, the conversation veers around the purpose for which Tambrahms exist i.e. Food.
Enna tiffin kaarthaala? Idliyaa? Thottukka enna?
Chutney’e pannindu irukkiye. Oru naal different’a kadappa try pannen…
Giving menu suggestions to their daughters is in the DNA of Mamis.
Molaga podi theernthu pochunnu sonniye…. Podichu vechiya?
A daughter can’t get a better organizer/reminder mechanism than her mother.
Aadi’kku dabbala enna kudutha?
Apparum madyanam lunch’ukku enna? Innikku Pradoshamakkum. Vengayam avoid pannu…
Nethikku dinner’ukku enna pannina? Arisi kozhakattaiya??? Ozhunga vanthutha?? Kozhanju onnum pogalaiye…?
Athu kozhaiyaama irukarathukku… tips follow.
For the mother, even a grown-up daughter is always a novice as far as cooking is concerned… and so tips on cooking are to be provided almost on a daily basis.
After this round of kusalam over food, menu, etc… conversation shifts to another favourite and important topic.
Nethikku Shantha vanthaala??? (Shantha is the housemaid)
Etho leave eduthaalum eduppaa’nnu nethikku sonniye…
Inga Lakshmi vanthaa. Aana romba late aayiduthu. Ava varathukulla naanum appavuma perukki, thodachu ellam pannittom. Late’a varuvennu oru phone panni irukalaam illiyaa? At least oru WhatsApp message potturuntha thevala… Nethikku fullum kaal vali thaanga mudiyalai.
Discussion around the maidservant can go longer. But let us move on. From the maid servant topic, over to others…
Yaaravathu phone panninaala?
Nethikku evening Chitthi phone pannina, US lenthu… Chumma thaan. Oru 10 mani irukkum nightla… Konja neram pesindu irunthaa. Adutha maasam thirumbi varaalaam. Anga Vinayaga Chaturti ellam romba grand’a panninaalaam. Angeyum ippo Shastha Batter’nnu fresh Idli/Dosa maavu ellam kidaikarathaam. California’la avaa irukara idathula romba chooda irukkam ippo.. Ippadi konja neram pesindu iruntha…
Exchanging notes like above on who called whom and what was said is an important segment of the daily phone call. The call then moves to immediate action points.
Suresh’oda passport intha maasam expire aagarathunnu pona maasam sonniye… Pudhu passport’ukku apply panniyaacha?
This is what I mentioned earlier also. You can’t beat the Mamis on their memory and organisation skills. You would have told her about this passport expiry thing a month ago and forgotten yourself. But the mother will remember this and give you a timely reminder.
Another example of their memory is how they remember birth dates, Star birthdays of almost all in the family tree and remind you now and then. Something like this:
Aadi’oda natchathiram Friday annikku varathu. Kovil’a archanaikku cholli du.
Suresh’oda adutha maasam 14th.
If there are no other action points and no other topics, the call moves towards a wrap-up.
Balconey’la Rose chedi vechiye… Nanna varathaa?
Adutha vaaram Suresh’kku tour ethavathu irukka?
Now let us look at how a Mama’s call with his son goes:
Enna anga mazhai peyyaratha? Inga romba chooda’ irukku. – In general, about the weather.
Office ellam eppadi poyindu irukku… Work from home thaane… – In general, about work.
Nethikku match paathiya? Kohli oru vazhiyaa form’ukku vanthaan – In general about Cricket.
Nethikku Sanjay Subramanian Kacherikku ponnennu potturunthiye… As usual amakalama? – In general about Carnatic Music.
Modi varaar polarukku Bombay’kku naalaiku? Traffic jam’la maataama paathukko.
Property Tax online katta paathen. Some problem. Apparam naane nera poi kattittu vanthutten. – In general, about world affairs.
Baaki amma kitta pesikko…
Do you need a better example to prove that men and women are indeed wired differently?