My Close Encounters with Mamas!

In my last 40 years or so, en (noda) counters with mamas have been very many. At home sometimes but mostly in social functions like marriages or common gatherings like Avani Avittam, Temple pooja,..,.. Based on these interactions, the mamas can be grouped as under:

Question Killer mama: Like serial killers, these mamas have the ability to almost kill you with their serial questions. When you see them, its’ almost like interrogation. Kelvi kette saagadippanga intha mamas. For example:

Mama: “Hello – Eppo vandha? 
You: Just now
Mama: Eppadi vandha? 
You: In my car
Mama: Athe car thane, illa puthusu vaanginiya? 
You: The same car
Mama: Wife varaliya? 
You: No she didn’t.
Mama: Enna Veetukku Vellilaya???”

You then force nature to call you and slip out

You: Mama Konjam toilet poyitu varen 
Mama: No. 1 or No. 2???

(To yourself – Vidave maattaar polarukku intha manushan)

Perfection personified mama: For these mamas, everything needs to be perfect. Nothing short of that. Your living in this planet is a waste if you don’t do things with utmost perfection. If you get caught with this type in some occasion, the next day you will have to attend some HR course to boost your self-confidence. Becoz in 1 hour he will find 100 faults in everything you do and shatter your ego and self-confidence. Sample this:

1. Ennappa panjakachathai ippadiyaa kattarathu? 
2. 11 o’ clock ku pujai, medhuva 11.05 kku varaye??
3. Nei Payasam colour konjam dark aa irukke?

types.

Rules Mama: For this mama, everything has to be followed as per the set procedure/rule. If there’s any deviation, in front of everybody he will pull you down that too with his loud voice ensuring that everybody in the vicinity comes to know what you did. They can also be labelled as Maanatha vaangarathukune porantha mamas. Like this:

Ennappa elaya eppadi podaruthunnu kooda theriyaatha? – In functions it is customary to serve food in banana leaf. And the leaf has to be laid in a particular way only. If you change the direction, you will be subjected to a few nasty looks and loud jibes.
And if you decide to help and do some service and volunteer to serve food, there is an order by which the different dishes have to be served. If you happen to serve some dish ahead against the set order you will have to listen to archanai from the Rules mama.

Over smart, padutharathukune porantha mama: These mamas are deadly. They are born to torture you. Sample these:

“Mama: Dei, how are you, Enna theriyaratho??
You: (you are obviously unable to place him. But if you tell him the truth you will be subjected to a mouthful. So you lie) – Yes, yes, I recognize you. How can I forget? Eppadi irukkel?
Mama: Appo, yarrunnu sollu!
You: dho vanthutten, oru urgent call pannanum!!!

“Mama: Ennappa entha companyla work panra??
You: Mama, Godrej company
Mama: Evalavu Sambalam tharaan? Kanja pasangalache???
You:???”

The Professional mama: These mamas wear pride in their sleeves having done professional courses like Engineering,.. that too in those days securing admission absolutely in merit when there were only few colleges. They loathe the present education system, lament on the decline in education standards and absence of meritocracy these days. So whenever you meet one of this type you will be subjected to a long lecture on how tough it was to get into engineering college those days and how he managed to get a job in Kirloskar company,…,.. When I happened to get into engineering college and met one such mama after my 2nd year, he almost took a exam on Thermo dynamics, Machine design,.. all in the midst of a Seemandham function where we met!!!

Ellam therinja mama: He is the know it all. Period. He has an opinion on everything and as per him that’s right. From weather in Bay area to political climate in North Korea, he knows everything.

Angry Old mama: These mamas were Angry young men in their primes. They get angry over everything. On the Government, system, roads, politicians, people, relatives and what have you. Usually you will find them alone as generally people avoid a run-in with these types.

Munjaakirathai mama: This category of mamas are always over cautious about everything. So much so that one mama from this clan told me that he accepts friend requests in FB only after checking their horoscopes

Advice Kadai mama: These mamas are always into advice some time solicited, most of the times unsolicited. From how to handle a bad boss at work to tackling inflation they provide free guidance.

And there are more. I can go on and on. Due to space and time constraint I will have to end here. Wait a minute. There’s a ring at the door and it’s my neighbour’s 15 year old son Vivek.

“Vivek: Hello, what are you doing uncle?
Me: Well nothing much, just doing my usual Sunday blog
Vivek: Oh, what are you writing on?
Me: Well for a change some light stuff. On my encounters with “Mamas” (I explain the different types,..)
Vivek: Uncle, you can add one more type
Me: Which is???
Vivek: Blog panniye boradikara mama!!
Me: Adapaavi!