Chinna Vengaya Sambaarukku Jai!

Today is Sunday and like other Sundays, the menu at home is obviously Chinna Vengaya Sambaar. If you do a quick survey of Tambrahm households on their Sunday menu, I am sure it will be Chinna Vengaya Sambaar in more than 75% of households if not 100%.  Chinna Vengaya Sambaar occupies such a pride of place in a Tambrahm menu.

I am unable to recall when this started at our home actually. Hailing originally from Kerala, Chinna Vengayam was not that popular a thing initially in our house. But when we moved to Trichy in Tamil Nadu, the liking for Chinna Vengayam and the protocol of making Chinna Vengaya Sambaar every Sunday started and it continues till today. Interestingly after marriage, the tradition has continued. At the in-laws’ house also, Sunday meant Chinna Vengaya Sambaar. So that helped. Soon I realized, it is not just our houses, but almost all Tambrahm houses, the situation is the same.

To some extent, I can understand the reason. Sundays are weekly offs and everyone is in a relaxed mood. On Sundays, Bengalis indulge themselves in delicacies made out of fish. Non-Vegetarians usually make it special with chicken or mutton dishes. For Tambrahms who are vegetarians, Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is that special thing.

In fact, it starts with breakfast itself. At my house, usually, Sunday mornings are reserved for Idlis with Chinna Vengaya Sambaar which my Amma will make early morning itself so that it can be used for breakfast. Normal Sambaar’a vida, Vengaya Sambaar’na, and Amma will make more so that for breakfast we can have Idli and Chinna Vengaya Sambaar, for lunch Chinna Vengaya Sambaar and Potato Kaara Kari and then in the evening some Sambaar Vadai.

It takes more effort to make Chinna Vengaya Sambaar than other Sambaars as you have to peel off the small onions one by one during which you may end up weeping copiously. My neighbourhood mami used to do that on Saturday nights itself while watching her usual Tamil serials. It will be difficult to tell if the tears are due to the serial or Chinna Vengayam. But the good thing nowadays is that supermarkets and South Indian stores sell ready-made urichu vecha Chinna Vengayam. So, it makes it easy to make the Sambaar with lesser effort.

Now coming to Idli with Chinna Vengaya Sambaar, there is a nuanced difference. If you take Idli and eat it with Sambaar it is Idli-Sambaar. But if you dunk pieces of Idlis in Sambaar, keep it soaked for some time so that the Idli pieces absorb the Sambaar, and then eat, it is Sambaar Idli. In Trichy, our pakkathu veettu mama would insist that the Sambaar Idli as above should be eaten after pouring dollops of ghee on the top. He used to insist that it is like ‘Sorgathukke poyittu vantha madiri irukkum’. You can guess that this mama belongs to the Saapaattu Raman type, the one who has taken birth in this Bhoomi only to eat.

When Idli and Chinna Vengaya Sambaar are on the menu, mami will keep a few additional yedu of Idlis than normal. Mamas and in fact everyone tends to gobble up a few extra Idlis than their normal quota when served with Chinna Vengaya Sambaar. Usually, the quip of mamis – ‘Konjam paathu saapidungo, weight control’e illai falls on deaf ears when it is Idli with Chinna Vengaya Sambaar. Similarly, she will keep one extra tumbler of rice for lunch when Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is there. As one mama famously said, “Engaathula Chinna Vengaya Sambaar panra annikku eppozhuthume traffic jam than – between kitchen and dining table!”

Connoisseurs of cooking and eating, which in effect means all Tambrahms are aware that there are two popular ways of making Sambaar, namely Podi Potta Sambaar which takes less time and effort and then the more popular Arachuvitta type. This takes more time and more effort. But it is tastier. In the rankings of different types of Sambaars, there is nothing to beat the Arachuvitta Sambaar. Make no mistake, as far as Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is concerned, there is only one type that is acceptable which is the Arachuvitta type.

Another major issue in Tambrahm households is the issue of ‘Thottukka Enna?’ for anything. Ask any mami, she will tell you the mental frustration and torture she goes through in deciding what to make as ‘Thottukka’ for tiffins. I had written about this in detail in my earlier article – “Thottukka Enna?”. If you have not read that before, please do read here. On a day when the mami makes Chutney for Idli, the mama will ask – Innnikku Kadappa illiya?. The day she makes Kadappa, the son will ask – Innikku Chutney illiya? And the day because maybe some guests have come, when the mami makes Chutney and Kadappa, the daughter will ask – Innikku Molagapodi illiya? But again, make no mistake, the day Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is made, the mami doesn’t have to go through any torture like this. Everyone in the family from the mama to the Ambi will happily eat whatever tiffin is made with Chinna Vengaya Sambaar.

Not just at home. Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is so popular with customers, that caterers who supply food on daily basis to mamas and mamis these days will ensure that on Sundays, the menu includes Chinna Vengaya Sambaar. When I checked last, the catering mama told me that on Sundays, the demand goes up by more than two times because Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is on the menu.

In Chennai, I have seen that people used to line up at the Original Ratna Café because they provided small buckets of Chinna Vengaya Sambaar along with water on the table irrespective of whatever you order. Even today, Ratna Café is pulling along based on the reputation it built on the taste of the Chinna Vengaya Sambaar.

Similarly in Mumbai, for bachelors, one of the favourite food places was the “South Indian Concerns” in Matunga East where they use to serve tasty food at reasonable prices. If one of the highlights of the place is ‘Ela potta saapaadu’, and the other was the Chinna Vengaya Sambaar. It was very difficult those days to get a seat on Wednesday nights and Sunday afternoons when Chinna Vengaya Sambaar was on the menu. By the way, in Mumbai where I live now, Chinna Vengayam is called “Madras Onion” thanks to its popularity among the Tamils.

The other aspect of Chinna Vengaya Sambaar is not just Idlis, it goes well with everything. Whether it is Dosa, Adai, Vadai and what not, if they are accompanied by Chinna Vengaya Sambaar, their taste gets elevated.

Chinna Vengayam is the perfect example of “Murthy chinnatha irunthaalum, Keerti perusu” Though smaller in size, Chinna Vengayams beat the Periya Vengayams hollow in terms of popularity. However, despite this popularity, one doesn’t understand why you call a stupid guy– sutha vengayama irukaan! Anyone?

Pic Courtesy: Sandhya’s Cookbook page.

Mami’s Call Vs. Mama’s Call!

With the advent of technology, cheap telephony and internet, one thing that has become easy today compared to a few decades ago is “being in touch”! Making outstation calls through mobile is very cheap. Making ISD calls through WhatsApp is free. Making Video calls is a breeze. The result – Tambrahm Mamis and Mamas talk to their children very regularly. But there is always a difference in what Mamis talk about with their children, in particular the daughters and what Mamas talk about with their children. For this article, Mamis and Mamas are those in the age group of 60 – 75 years while the sons and daughters are married and in the age group of 35 – 45.

Most likely illa illa definitely, Mamis talk to their daughters at least once a day if not more frequently while they talk to their sons on a need basis or probably once a week. Mamas talk to their sons and daughters usually on a need basis or once a week.

A Mami’s call to her daughter though happens every day, revolves around a lot of topics and goes something like this:

Suresh office poyaachaa? (Suresh is the son-in-law)

Aadi school ponaana? (Aaditya is the grandson). School bus correct’ a vanthutha?

After those initial ice breakers, the conversation veers around the purpose for which Tambrahms exist i.e. Food.

Enna tiffin kaarthaala? Idliyaa? Thottukka enna?

Chutney’e pannindu irukkiye. Oru naal different’a kadappa try pannen…

Giving menu suggestions to their daughters is in the DNA of Mamis.

Molaga podi theernthu pochunnu sonniye…. Podichu vechiya?

A daughter can’t get a better organizer/reminder mechanism than her mother.

Aadi’kku dabbala enna kudutha?

Apparum madyanam lunch’ukku enna? Innikku Pradoshamakkum. Vengayam avoid pannu…

Nethikku dinner’ukku enna pannina? Arisi kozhakattaiya??? Ozhunga vanthutha?? Kozhanju onnum pogalaiye…?

Athu kozhaiyaama irukarathukku… tips follow.

For the mother, even a grown-up daughter is always a novice as far as cooking is concerned… and so tips on cooking are to be provided almost on a daily basis.

After this round of kusalam over food, menu, etc… conversation shifts to another favourite and important topic.

Nethikku Shantha vanthaala??? (Shantha is the housemaid)

Etho leave eduthaalum eduppaa’nnu nethikku sonniye…

Inga Lakshmi vanthaa. Aana romba late aayiduthu. Ava varathukulla naanum appavuma perukki, thodachu ellam pannittom. Late’a varuvennu oru phone panni irukalaam illiyaa? At least oru WhatsApp message potturuntha thevala… Nethikku fullum kaal vali thaanga mudiyalai.

Discussion around the maidservant can go longer. But let us move on. From the maid servant topic, over to others…

Yaaravathu phone panninaala?

Nethikku evening Chitthi phone pannina, US lenthu… Chumma thaan. Oru 10 mani irukkum nightla… Konja neram pesindu irunthaa. Adutha maasam thirumbi varaalaam. Anga Vinayaga Chaturti ellam romba grand’a panninaalaam. Angeyum ippo Shastha Batter’nnu fresh Idli/Dosa maavu ellam kidaikarathaam.  California’la avaa irukara idathula romba chooda irukkam ippo.. Ippadi konja neram pesindu iruntha…

Exchanging notes like above on who called whom and what was said is an important segment of the daily phone call.  The call then moves to immediate action points.

Suresh’oda passport intha maasam expire aagarathunnu pona maasam sonniye… Pudhu passport’ukku apply panniyaacha?

This is what I mentioned earlier also. You can’t beat the Mamis on their memory and organisation skills. You would have told her about this passport expiry thing a month ago and forgotten yourself. But the mother will remember this and give you a timely reminder.

Another example of their memory is how they remember birth dates, Star birthdays of almost all in the family tree and remind you now and then. Something like this:

Aadi’oda natchathiram Friday annikku varathu. Kovil’a archanaikku cholli du.

Suresh’oda adutha maasam 14^th.

If there are no other action points and no other topics, the call moves towards a wrap-up.

Verenna?

Balconey’la Rose chedi vechiye… Nanna varathaa?

Verenna?

Adutha vaaram Suresh’kku tour ethavathu irukka?

Verenna?

Now let us look at how a Mama’s call with his son goes:

Enna anga mazhai peyyaratha? Inga romba chooda’ irukku. – In general, about the weather.

Office ellam eppadi poyindu irukku… Work from home thaane…  – In general, about work.

Nethikku match paathiya? Kohli oru vazhiyaa form’ukku vanthaan – In general about Cricket.

Nethikku Sanjay Subramanian Kacherikku ponnennu potturunthiye… As usual amakalama? – In general about Carnatic Music.

Modi varaar polarukku Bombay’kku naalaiku? Traffic jam’la maataama paathukko.

Property Tax online katta paathen. Some problem. Apparam naane nera poi kattittu vanthutten. – In general, about world affairs.

Baaki amma kitta pesikko…

Do you need a better example to prove that men and women are indeed wired differently?

Smart Phones and Tambrahm Mamas!

When it comes to mobile phones and in particular the smart phones, Tambrahms (mamas and mamis in equal measure) have mixed feelings. On the one hand, they understand and appreciate that some of the aspects of the mobile phones have made their life lives easier and without it, it would be very difficult. On the other hand, they also feel that there is too much of mobile phone usage these days among youngsters which is not good.

And when it comes to adopting the use of the mobile phone, Mamas can be classified into 3 types:

1. Digital Savvy Mamas: These mamas are those who show a lot of interest in adopting new technology or anything new in general. From the normal phone to Smart phone to use of computer/laptop to Tablets, these mamas are adept in learning quickly and using them extensively. These mamas in their prime would have transitioned from the Manual typewriter to Electronic typewriter and then to a Computer easily and smoothly because of their innate interest. Less than 10% of mamas fall in this category.

You can easily spot these mamas. They will be mostly on the phone all the time. At home if not on the phone, they will be reading “The Hindu” or other newspapers these days in digital version on their Tablets.  They most likely watch IPL matches on the phone or their Tablets on Hotstar.  They will be accessing YouTube for the all the Carnatic music content they want to listen/watch and are up-to-date with the online schedules of artists.  For example, these mamas would have invariably subscribed to Sanjay Sabha channel and would be listening to Sanjay Subramanyam’s kutcheris online that too as soon as the content is uploaded. Even they do “Amavaasai tharpanam” themselves by referring to YouTube! They would have downloaded some health App and would be monitoring their vitals through the same. They attend Bhagavathy Sevai with their tablets and read Lalitha Sahasranamam from that.

2. Analog Mamas: These mamas are exactly opposite to the Digital Savvy Mamas and have an allergy for technology or for that matter anything new. They are happy without technology or with very minimum use of technology. Mostly when typewriters were replaced by Computers, they would have opted for VRS. Usually 10-20% mamas fall in this category. They normally lament as follows:

“Enakku intha Smart phone ellam seri pattu varaathu…  Aaru smart’aa illiyo, avaalukku thaan Smart phone venam”!

“Ippo yaara paathalum, eppovum oru phone’a nondeendu okkanthundu irukka!”

“Intha kaalathu kozhanthagal – Sivanoda kazhuthula paambu chutthindu irukume, athu maadiri eppa paaru oru ear phone’a maatitundu okanthindu irukkaa…  Namma kitteyum pechu kidayaathu… namma pesarathayum kekkarathu kidayaathu…”  Sivanennu irukarathu’nna ithu thaan ippo…!”

“Paiyyan romba insist panninaan – athanaala oru Nokia phone vechundu irukken. Call receive panrathoda seri!

“Aathula irukkara pothu land line’la thaan pesuven. Maasa maasam bill kattindu irukkom. Athula free STD calls irukke. Athayum consume pannina maadiri irukkum.

Even if they carry a Smart phone, if you ask something, “Enakku athellam theriyaathu. Neeye pannueden” nnu they will readily hand over the phone to you.

3. Hybrid Mamas: Most of the remaining mamas fall in this category. They are neither obsessed with technology like Digital Savvy Mamas nor allergic to technology like Analog Mamas. Aathula oru kaal, Sethula oru kaal So these mamas use a smart phone wherever it helps. Athe samayathula phone’a appo appo karichu kotarathum undu.

Whenever they get a new phone, oru maasathukku doubt kette pakkathula irukaravaalla padithi eduthupuduvaa.  So their sons and daughters usually direct them to their perans and pethis for clarifying their doubts with patience.  Like we saw in the Malayalam film – At Home, these mamas also maintain a note book to write and keep the steps for using different features of the phone.  The other thing they do is to of course change the ringtone to Ambujam Krishna’s Enna Solli Azhaithaal varuvaayo…  or Alaipaayuthe… in flute and the caller tune to M.S.’ Kurai ondrum illai… or similar. And then change the phone wall paper with kula theivam picture.

Being Hybrid mamas, they don’t use the smart phone for everything. In the sense, they still continue to watch their favourite serials or IPL matches or kutcheris on TV, read the newspaper for news and so on. So much so, with the phone in one hand, Tata Sky remote in the other hand and TV remote in the shirt pocket and newspaper in the lap, these mamas at times resemble “Sankhu Chakra Gadha pani…”!

In their prime, they used to remember telephone numbers by heart. Now they know Tata Sky channel numbers by heart!  These mamas first read the newspaper every morning and update themselves with all the “Actual” News. Then they “open” WhatsApp and go to the different groups like Friends group, Own Family group, Wife family group, Immediate family group,  Walkers group, Music group, Tamil Group, Carnatic music group, Palakkad group, Ex-Office group, Temple group, Society/Colony group etc. etc. and get updated with all the “Fake” news that gets forwarded day in and day out.

Though they can download the App of the bank and check the balance in their accounts, these mamas prefer to visit the bank at least once a week to update their passbooks.

“Intha App, antha App’nnu ethara App’a vechukarathu phone la? Appo appo bank poyittu vanthaa walking aana maadiriyum irukkum, konjam time pass aana maadiriyum irukkum… Intha private bank ellam pass book tharathayum niruthiyutta.  Athanaala naan SBI’la thaan account vechundu irukken. Aana nammallaa appoppo poi anga passbook update pannikanum. Regular’aa update pannaatta, romba neram aagum ella page’ayum print pannathu kulla!”  And strictly they will not use the phone for making payments or purchases etc.… Yerkanave rate of interest Senior citizens’ukku romba kammi aayaachu… Account ’la irukara micha meedhi savings’ayum adichundu poyittaana?

These mamas now have subscribed to various OTT platforms like Amazon Prime, Netflix etc. and catch up with the new releases. Sitting in their base in Mumbai/Chennai/Bangalore/Houston/SFO these mamas make it a point to watch Trichur Pooram or their temple ulsavams live on YouTube or Facebook. And one of the important time pass activities for these mamas is to participate in Modi Vs Anti Modi debates on WhatsApp groups that get triggered when someone shares a pro or Anti Modi post!

Not just mamas, mamis can also be categorised in the above types except that for mamis one of the main use of the smart phones is to do Facetime or WhatsApp video calls with their perans and pethis in the US after they finish talking to their daughters on an everyday basis.  So, whenever they get a new phone, the 1^st thing they would like to know is how to make a video call.

Neenga entha type?

Yaaru Caterer?

Typically in Tambrahm households, there was a time when you will be faced with a barrage of questions on your return from a function like kalyanam from those who couldn’t or didn’t attend the same. The questions were like:

Yarellam vanthiruntha?

Mandapam sowriyama irunthutha?

Kalayanathukku naduvila mazhai onnum peyyalaiye?

Payyan side manusha eppadi?

Kalyana arrangements ellam eppadi irunthuthu?

Evalavu peru vanthiruppa?

Saapaadu ellam eppadi irunthuthu?

Receptionukkku flute kacherinnu potturunthuthe… eppadi irunthuthu?

Mask ellam potturunthaallo? Social distancing ellam eppadi? (Ithu of course oru varushama thaan Corona kaingaryam)

Nowadays there is only one pertinent question being asked. That is:

Yaaru Caterer?

It seems everything else don’t matter.

So much so, the decision whether to attend the kalyanam or not depends on who the caterer is. In fact, when the kalyana pathirigai comes, people do not shy away from asking – “Yaaru Caterer?” and on hearing the answer – “Oh Nirmalyam’a? Kandippa varuven!”

More so, after Corona it’s been a long while since people attended family weddings and other functions. So accordingly the opportunities to eat a proper kalyana saapaadu have also dwindled drastically.

Mama: “Intha Corona naala vaaikku rujiya oru nalla saapaadu saaptu romba naalaachu….

Mami: Yen, naanga samaikarathu ellaam vaaikku rujiya illiyo???

Mama: Illa illa Kalyana saapaadunnu solla vanthen…

Mami: Manasukulla irukarathu thaan velila varum…

Mama: (Mind voice) Aamaamaam.

So now that Corona situation is getting better with double vaccination and all… all are very eager to attend weddings and functions.

Nowadays even Tambrahm kalyanams have become almost like Punjabi shaadis replete with Mehendi function, Sangeet, Baraat, Bidaai and what not…  Slowly, like Punjabi weddings, the arrangement for the wedding is handed over to a wedding/event planner. But in Tambrahm weddings, the caterer doubles up as the wedding planner or the caterer handles all the saapaadu/bakshanam/seeru etc. while the wedding planner takes care of the other extracurricular activities.  In both these cases, what matters to most is “Yaaru Caterer?”

In order to address this most pertinent question, many have started including the name of the caterer in the invitation card itself.

If in those days, kalyana invitation cards included names of Nadaswaram party and details of kutcheris for the Reception, these days it is the turn to put out the name of the caterer boldly. Of course this is a double edged sword. If the caterer is of high repute, you can expect 25% more crowd for the function. And if the caterer is not known so well, you can expect the attendance to be less.

In different cities, there are caterers who are ranked among the Tambrahm community for their delivery and execution. So the moment the caterer’s name is told, mamas and mamis can make up in their mind how the food and other related arrangements would be.  This is very much like the database which comes in a scene in the Tamil film “Boys”.  In that scene Senthil will list the day wise/ session wise Prasadam schedule in the various temples in and around Chennai and claim that it is an important database he manages and continues to update regularly. Likewise, some mamas maintain a database of City wise caterers ranked from the top. Not just that, the database also includes which caterer is good for which type of food and even which particular item.  I know of a friend mama who has all this info in his tips or rather tongue.

Bombay Ramanioda laddoo nanna irukkum

Previous day breakfastukku elai adai – ithu namma Mumbai Nirmalyam caterers’oda speciality.

Chennai’la Chellappa oda kalyana main saapaadu romba joraa irukkum. Paavam Corona vila poyitaar.

Antha kaalathula Kochi Manioda chakka pradaman’a adichukka mudiyaathu.

Tiffinla variety’nna Rajasekhar.  Aanaa ippo Bombaya vida Chennai thaan concentration…

Coimbatore’la ella catererskume ore all thaan palahaaram ellam supply. Oru factory madiri nadathindu irukka.

Since the next gen Tambrahm weddings are beginning to happen in the US, you will find the data base being updated with caterers from there also like

Antha kaalathula writer Chaavi Washingtonil thirumanam’nnu joke’a ezhuthinaar. Ippo athuve sarva saadaranam aayidithu…

Chembur Jayaramanoda payyan Sydney’la branch aarambichirukaan. Romba nanna panraannu kelvi.

Bay Area la Mylapore Express nanna irukku.

And for those who don’t get to attend the function, the point of interest is the menu. Nowadays, most caterers also put out the session wise menu. And enthusiastic mamas while clicking pictures of the function, also click pictures of the menu cards and keep posting in family groups to verupethufy their mamis  who couldn’t attend.

Mami: Inga enna avaroda vayasaana ammava paathukka chollittu avar anga ennadaanna vellaa vellaikku menuva photo eduthu pottundu irukaar. Breakfastukku Kasi Halwavum and Night la dinnerukku Chola Batura’vuma thingarathu… Apparum Cholesterol control’e aaga mattengarathu’nnu solla vendiyathu…

Not just for Kalyanams, knowing well in advance who the caterer is, is important for music Kutcheris also. During the Music season in Chennai, the decision to attend whose Kutcheri in which Sabha also depends on who the Sabha’s aasthaana caterer is, that year.

Mama 1: “Almost 2 years’kku apparam, Sanjay Subramanyathoda live kutcheri nethikku Narada Gana Sabha’la…

Mama 2: Athaan paathene. Avare, thannoda kutcheri Song list’oda “Canteen by Arusuvai team” nnum pottutaare!

Ongaathu adutha functionukku Yaaru Caterer? Enna athu thaan romba mukkiyam. Because that is what is most important 🙂

Mamas and Samayal!

In one of my earlier articles, I had written about the different types of Tambrahm mamas we encounter in our day today lives. This article was well received and many said that they could relate very much to it. That in fact emboldened me to start this “Tambrahmism” series of articles where I started writing about different aspects of Tambrahm life and quirks.  Much later, I wrote Part -2 of the different mama types to cover some more personalities. If you have not read those, please read them here (Part -1) and here (Part 2).

One of the types of Tambrahm mamas which I missed was “Saapatula kutham kandu pidikara mamas” which is also quite a common type. In fact if you ask mamis, they will say all mamas fall in this type. It is now widely known and accepted that Tambrahm mamas by and large are “Saapattu priyans”.  They are so passionate about food that it also makes them very intolerant and nit pickers in matters of food. Whether at home or outside, you cannot stop a mama from judging the menu and food and delivering his judgement even if he has not touched a karandi in years.

Usually the rant starts with the menu itself. “Innikku enna, verum molagoottal thaana? Oru Rasam kisam kidayaatha?” For mamis, making molagoottal doubles up as a kootaan and a side dish and hence saves time and effort.  It is equivalent to Upma for breakfast. If nothing else works out, Upma is always the omnipresent substitute, quick and simple to make.  Same with molagoottal for lunch.

Mama: “Innikkum Upma’va? Oru Puttu/kittu pannina nanna irukkum”

Mami: Aamaam. Erkanave lockdown’la pootindu irukkom. Oraalukku ippo Puttu venamaam!”

After the menu, mama’s critique extends to the making and starts with the rice itself.  “Enna innikku chaadam vegaama vethu vetha irukku?” Or “Enna innikku chaadam ore kozhanju irukku?”  Enna mor kootaanukku Jaundice vantha madiri manjal kooduthala irukku?

Verumarisi adaila thenga pallu podalaya?

Then it gets to the taste and it is usually – “Enna rasathula uppu jaasthiya irukku? Sambhar’la perunkaayam orediya thookindu irukku? Even the curd that sets itself is not left out. “Enna thayir urayave illai? In the earlier generations, mamis got used to the rant, just ignored and kept quiet. But these days, mamis have their own pointed quips which land like precision guided missiles.

For the Sambhar’la perunkaayam question, the answer more likely from today’s mamis would be, “Naan konjama thaan potundu irunthen. Ungamma thaan Sambhar’la innum konjam pottukalaam’nnu sonnathu”! What seemed a wicket taking yorker has been despatched out of the park over the bowler’s head.

Similarly if the mama’s critique is “Enna, paal payasam konjam kozhuthundu irukku?” (Meaning it’s thick), the response would be “Ellam correcta thaan irukku. Ungalukku thaan konjam kozhuppu jaasthi aayirukku. Pona blood test’la cholesterol level jaasti’nnu kaamichuthe!”  One more time, the mama has been “mankaded” that too with prior warning!

Of course, thenga pallu comment meets with a deadly answer always. “Namma palle innikko, naalaiko’nnu irukku. Ithula thenga pallu vera venama?

As I mentioned earlier, mamas cannot stop reacting to food because of their passion towards food. Also, one should blame it on their genes. Even if they don’t cook, most of the mamas score very high on theory as far as samayal matters are concerned. And even if they don’t go near the kitchen to save their lives, they will know what is “kambi paagu” consistency and all.

Tired of listening to “Suppudu” like critical comments for their samayal, I have often seen mamis issuing challenge to mamas – “Ivalavu vakkanaiya pesarele…. Oru naal samachu thaan kaattungalen…” This is like a deadly Doosra. Either you hit out or get out.  There could be two scenarios here. One, the mama doesn’t accept the challenge to which mami’s reaction will be like, “Theory therinja mattum poraathu. Practicalaavum panna therinjurukanum!”  Second, mama sportingly accepts the challenge and gothavula iranga thayaraagirathu.

I imagine the second situation and it will go most probably like this.

Mama: “O.k, enna menu venum?”

Mami: “Ithu verayaa? Yetho Pattappa, Kochi Mani parambara’la vantha madiri enna kelvi? Ethu panna varumo, atha pannungo”

Mama now takes the cue from mami’s book and decides to make what else but Molagoottal so that he doesn’t have to make Kootaan, Thoran and all separately. One Molagoottal, salad and one pickle will do the trick for a full meal along with thayir sadam.

Mama starts the cooking ordeal with cutting the vegetables which is preceded by a barrage of questions “Ithu enga irukku? Athu enga irukku? Yen kathi ivalavu monnaiya irukku?”

Mami: “Samayal panrathu oru naalaikku. Athukku kathi ivalavu sharp’a iruntha porum!”

The response cannot get sharper than this!

Mama: Thengai irukka?

Mami: Thengai thuruvi fridge’la vechurukene. Athaiye use pannungo.

Mama: Athu sari pattu varaathu. Fresh’a thenga chorandi’na thaan taste correct’a varum.” Mama is now pushing his luck by displaying his strength in theory.

Mami: “Okaanthu turuvungo…. Enakenna. Thenga filterukku antha side’la irukku.”

Mama starts the work with Sanjay Subramanyam’s Kharaharapriya on the loop in his ears and of course singing along.

Mami: Samayal panratha ippo ethukku paatellam? Athuvum onga kara kara voice’la?

Mama: “Keertanai Kharaharapriya’ aache?”

Mami: “Joke sahikala!  Innikku mattum illa… neenga eppo paadinaalum Kharaharapriya thaan, athuvum srutiye illaama!”

Mama: “Nee ingarunthu po. Naan ellam pannittu koopadaren. Appo vantha porum.” Mama doesn’t want mami to breathe down his neck while he struggles with his experiments, so to say.

Mami: “Seri, naan kulichuttu varen”!

Mama reaches out to the Arisi dabba to take out rice for keeping in the cooker. To his bad luck, the lid is loose and before he could realise what happened, rice is all over the kitchen. Now, the next task is to clean up the mess before mami comes out of the bath. So, the next few minutes goes in assiduously perukking and porukking the rice grains onnu vidaama from the floor and dumping it at the “bottom of the dust bin”. After it’s all done, a few additional minutes are spent in removing any evidence whatsoever left of the rice spilling episode. Mama is now in the mode of a murderer cleaning up all the evidences from a crime scene.  I think this trait was what was showcased superbly in Michael Madana Kama Rajan in that epic “Meen” comedy scene!!

But as they say, every criminal always leaves a clue without him realising it. So, when mami comes back, her first question is, “Enna nadanthuthu inga? Door’ukku pinnaala arisi ellam kidakku?” I have always felt that most of the mamis are most qualified to be forensic experts and part of crime investigation departments in the world.

Mama: “Aaru unnai inga vara chonna? Inga onnum nadakallai. Nee hall’ukku poi WhatsApp paathundu iru.”

Mama has now cut the vegetables for Molagoottal and kept it in gas with water for boiling. People who cook regularly know that it is advisable not to keep the stove in full burner but in medium always. Mama kept it in full burner and is now busy thuruving the coconut with his back to the stove. Soon, there is a burning smell which has now reached the adjacent room where mami is checking her WhatsApp. Mama, though in the kitchen, hasn’t yet caught up with the burning smell, merrily drowned in Sanjay Sub’s Nalinakanthi now.

Mami: Enna aduppula kariyarathu? Adi pidikara smell varathu???

Mama by now realises that his deep diving into Manavyalakinchara has killed his Molagoottal and puts off the gas. Mami now has had enough of it.

Mami: Neenga samachathu ellam porum. Naane pannikiren. Neenga maarungo.

Multi-tasking is an art perfected by mamis into science.

She takes over the kitchen and makes good the Molagoottal with the partially burnt out vegetables etc.….  Salad is cut. One Puleeinji is also quickly added to the menu.  And pappadam is fried.

It’s time for lunch now and …

Mama: Enna, molagoottal’a uppu konjam kammi’ya irukku?

Pic Courtesy: Cinema Express