Smart Phones and Tambrahm Mamas!

When it comes to mobile phones and in particular the smart phones, Tambrahms (mamas and mamis in equal measure) have mixed feelings. On the one hand, they understand and appreciate that some of the aspects of the mobile phones have made their life lives easier and without it, it would be very difficult. On the other hand, they also feel that there is too much of mobile phone usage these days among youngsters which is not good.

And when it comes to adopting the use of the mobile phone, Mamas can be classified into 3 types:

1. Digital Savvy Mamas: These mamas are those who show a lot of interest in adopting new technology or anything new in general. From the normal phone to Smart phone to use of computer/laptop to Tablets, these mamas are adept in learning quickly and using them extensively. These mamas in their prime would have transitioned from the Manual typewriter to Electronic typewriter and then to a Computer easily and smoothly because of their innate interest. Less than 10% of mamas fall in this category.

You can easily spot these mamas. They will be mostly on the phone all the time. At home if not on the phone, they will be reading “The Hindu” or other newspapers these days in digital version on their Tablets.  They most likely watch IPL matches on the phone or their Tablets on Hotstar.  They will be accessing YouTube for the all the Carnatic music content they want to listen/watch and are up-to-date with the online schedules of artists.  For example, these mamas would have invariably subscribed to Sanjay Sabha channel and would be listening to Sanjay Subramanyam’s kutcheris online that too as soon as the content is uploaded. Even they do “Amavaasai tharpanam” themselves by referring to YouTube! They would have downloaded some health App and would be monitoring their vitals through the same. They attend Bhagavathy Sevai with their tablets and read Lalitha Sahasranamam from that.

2. Analog Mamas: These mamas are exactly opposite to the Digital Savvy Mamas and have an allergy for technology or for that matter anything new. They are happy without technology or with very minimum use of technology. Mostly when typewriters were replaced by Computers, they would have opted for VRS. Usually 10-20% mamas fall in this category. They normally lament as follows:

“Enakku intha Smart phone ellam seri pattu varaathu…  Aaru smart’aa illiyo, avaalukku thaan Smart phone venam”!

“Ippo yaara paathalum, eppovum oru phone’a nondeendu okkanthundu irukka!”

“Intha kaalathu kozhanthagal – Sivanoda kazhuthula paambu chutthindu irukume, athu maadiri eppa paaru oru ear phone’a maatitundu okanthindu irukkaa…  Namma kitteyum pechu kidayaathu… namma pesarathayum kekkarathu kidayaathu…”  Sivanennu irukarathu’nna ithu thaan ippo…!”

“Paiyyan romba insist panninaan – athanaala oru Nokia phone vechundu irukken. Call receive panrathoda seri!

“Aathula irukkara pothu land line’la thaan pesuven. Maasa maasam bill kattindu irukkom. Athula free STD calls irukke. Athayum consume pannina maadiri irukkum.

Even if they carry a Smart phone, if you ask something, “Enakku athellam theriyaathu. Neeye pannueden” nnu they will readily hand over the phone to you.

3. Hybrid Mamas: Most of the remaining mamas fall in this category. They are neither obsessed with technology like Digital Savvy Mamas nor allergic to technology like Analog Mamas. Aathula oru kaal, Sethula oru kaal So these mamas use a smart phone wherever it helps. Athe samayathula phone’a appo appo karichu kotarathum undu.

Whenever they get a new phone, oru maasathukku doubt kette pakkathula irukaravaalla padithi eduthupuduvaa.  So their sons and daughters usually direct them to their perans and pethis for clarifying their doubts with patience.  Like we saw in the Malayalam film – At Home, these mamas also maintain a note book to write and keep the steps for using different features of the phone.  The other thing they do is to of course change the ringtone to Ambujam Krishna’s Enna Solli Azhaithaal varuvaayo…  or Alaipaayuthe… in flute and the caller tune to M.S.’ Kurai ondrum illai… or similar. And then change the phone wall paper with kula theivam picture.

Being Hybrid mamas, they don’t use the smart phone for everything. In the sense, they still continue to watch their favourite serials or IPL matches or kutcheris on TV, read the newspaper for news and so on. So much so, with the phone in one hand, Tata Sky remote in the other hand and TV remote in the shirt pocket and newspaper in the lap, these mamas at times resemble “Sankhu Chakra Gadha pani…”!

In their prime, they used to remember telephone numbers by heart. Now they know Tata Sky channel numbers by heart!  These mamas first read the newspaper every morning and update themselves with all the “Actual” News. Then they “open” WhatsApp and go to the different groups like Friends group, Own Family group, Wife family group, Immediate family group,  Walkers group, Music group, Tamil Group, Carnatic music group, Palakkad group, Ex-Office group, Temple group, Society/Colony group etc. etc. and get updated with all the “Fake” news that gets forwarded day in and day out.

Though they can download the App of the bank and check the balance in their accounts, these mamas prefer to visit the bank at least once a week to update their passbooks.

“Intha App, antha App’nnu ethara App’a vechukarathu phone la? Appo appo bank poyittu vanthaa walking aana maadiriyum irukkum, konjam time pass aana maadiriyum irukkum… Intha private bank ellam pass book tharathayum niruthiyutta.  Athanaala naan SBI’la thaan account vechundu irukken. Aana nammallaa appoppo poi anga passbook update pannikanum. Regular’aa update pannaatta, romba neram aagum ella page’ayum print pannathu kulla!”  And strictly they will not use the phone for making payments or purchases etc.… Yerkanave rate of interest Senior citizens’ukku romba kammi aayaachu… Account ’la irukara micha meedhi savings’ayum adichundu poyittaana?

These mamas now have subscribed to various OTT platforms like Amazon Prime, Netflix etc. and catch up with the new releases. Sitting in their base in Mumbai/Chennai/Bangalore/Houston/SFO these mamas make it a point to watch Trichur Pooram or their temple ulsavams live on YouTube or Facebook. And one of the important time pass activities for these mamas is to participate in Modi Vs Anti Modi debates on WhatsApp groups that get triggered when someone shares a pro or Anti Modi post!

Not just mamas, mamis can also be categorised in the above types except that for mamis one of the main use of the smart phones is to do Facetime or WhatsApp video calls with their perans and pethis in the US after they finish talking to their daughters on an everyday basis.  So, whenever they get a new phone, the 1^st thing they would like to know is how to make a video call.

Neenga entha type?

Mamas and Samayal!

In one of my earlier articles, I had written about the different types of Tambrahm mamas we encounter in our day today lives. This article was well received and many said that they could relate very much to it. That in fact emboldened me to start this “Tambrahmism” series of articles where I started writing about different aspects of Tambrahm life and quirks.  Much later, I wrote Part -2 of the different mama types to cover some more personalities. If you have not read those, please read them here (Part -1) and here (Part 2).

One of the types of Tambrahm mamas which I missed was “Saapatula kutham kandu pidikara mamas” which is also quite a common type. In fact if you ask mamis, they will say all mamas fall in this type. It is now widely known and accepted that Tambrahm mamas by and large are “Saapattu priyans”.  They are so passionate about food that it also makes them very intolerant and nit pickers in matters of food. Whether at home or outside, you cannot stop a mama from judging the menu and food and delivering his judgement even if he has not touched a karandi in years.

Usually the rant starts with the menu itself. “Innikku enna, verum molagoottal thaana? Oru Rasam kisam kidayaatha?” For mamis, making molagoottal doubles up as a kootaan and a side dish and hence saves time and effort.  It is equivalent to Upma for breakfast. If nothing else works out, Upma is always the omnipresent substitute, quick and simple to make.  Same with molagoottal for lunch.

Mama: “Innikkum Upma’va? Oru Puttu/kittu pannina nanna irukkum”

Mami: Aamaam. Erkanave lockdown’la pootindu irukkom. Oraalukku ippo Puttu venamaam!”

After the menu, mama’s critique extends to the making and starts with the rice itself.  “Enna innikku chaadam vegaama vethu vetha irukku?” Or “Enna innikku chaadam ore kozhanju irukku?”  Enna mor kootaanukku Jaundice vantha madiri manjal kooduthala irukku?

Verumarisi adaila thenga pallu podalaya?

Then it gets to the taste and it is usually – “Enna rasathula uppu jaasthiya irukku? Sambhar’la perunkaayam orediya thookindu irukku? Even the curd that sets itself is not left out. “Enna thayir urayave illai? In the earlier generations, mamis got used to the rant, just ignored and kept quiet. But these days, mamis have their own pointed quips which land like precision guided missiles.

For the Sambhar’la perunkaayam question, the answer more likely from today’s mamis would be, “Naan konjama thaan potundu irunthen. Ungamma thaan Sambhar’la innum konjam pottukalaam’nnu sonnathu”! What seemed a wicket taking yorker has been despatched out of the park over the bowler’s head.

Similarly if the mama’s critique is “Enna, paal payasam konjam kozhuthundu irukku?” (Meaning it’s thick), the response would be “Ellam correcta thaan irukku. Ungalukku thaan konjam kozhuppu jaasthi aayirukku. Pona blood test’la cholesterol level jaasti’nnu kaamichuthe!”  One more time, the mama has been “mankaded” that too with prior warning!

Of course, thenga pallu comment meets with a deadly answer always. “Namma palle innikko, naalaiko’nnu irukku. Ithula thenga pallu vera venama?

As I mentioned earlier, mamas cannot stop reacting to food because of their passion towards food. Also, one should blame it on their genes. Even if they don’t cook, most of the mamas score very high on theory as far as samayal matters are concerned. And even if they don’t go near the kitchen to save their lives, they will know what is “kambi paagu” consistency and all.

Tired of listening to “Suppudu” like critical comments for their samayal, I have often seen mamis issuing challenge to mamas – “Ivalavu vakkanaiya pesarele…. Oru naal samachu thaan kaattungalen…” This is like a deadly Doosra. Either you hit out or get out.  There could be two scenarios here. One, the mama doesn’t accept the challenge to which mami’s reaction will be like, “Theory therinja mattum poraathu. Practicalaavum panna therinjurukanum!”  Second, mama sportingly accepts the challenge and gothavula iranga thayaraagirathu.

I imagine the second situation and it will go most probably like this.

Mama: “O.k, enna menu venum?”

Mami: “Ithu verayaa? Yetho Pattappa, Kochi Mani parambara’la vantha madiri enna kelvi? Ethu panna varumo, atha pannungo”

Mama now takes the cue from mami’s book and decides to make what else but Molagoottal so that he doesn’t have to make Kootaan, Thoran and all separately. One Molagoottal, salad and one pickle will do the trick for a full meal along with thayir sadam.

Mama starts the cooking ordeal with cutting the vegetables which is preceded by a barrage of questions “Ithu enga irukku? Athu enga irukku? Yen kathi ivalavu monnaiya irukku?”

Mami: “Samayal panrathu oru naalaikku. Athukku kathi ivalavu sharp’a iruntha porum!”

The response cannot get sharper than this!

Mama: Thengai irukka?

Mami: Thengai thuruvi fridge’la vechurukene. Athaiye use pannungo.

Mama: Athu sari pattu varaathu. Fresh’a thenga chorandi’na thaan taste correct’a varum.” Mama is now pushing his luck by displaying his strength in theory.

Mami: “Okaanthu turuvungo…. Enakenna. Thenga filterukku antha side’la irukku.”

Mama starts the work with Sanjay Subramanyam’s Kharaharapriya on the loop in his ears and of course singing along.

Mami: Samayal panratha ippo ethukku paatellam? Athuvum onga kara kara voice’la?

Mama: “Keertanai Kharaharapriya’ aache?”

Mami: “Joke sahikala!  Innikku mattum illa… neenga eppo paadinaalum Kharaharapriya thaan, athuvum srutiye illaama!”

Mama: “Nee ingarunthu po. Naan ellam pannittu koopadaren. Appo vantha porum.” Mama doesn’t want mami to breathe down his neck while he struggles with his experiments, so to say.

Mami: “Seri, naan kulichuttu varen”!

Mama reaches out to the Arisi dabba to take out rice for keeping in the cooker. To his bad luck, the lid is loose and before he could realise what happened, rice is all over the kitchen. Now, the next task is to clean up the mess before mami comes out of the bath. So, the next few minutes goes in assiduously perukking and porukking the rice grains onnu vidaama from the floor and dumping it at the “bottom of the dust bin”. After it’s all done, a few additional minutes are spent in removing any evidence whatsoever left of the rice spilling episode. Mama is now in the mode of a murderer cleaning up all the evidences from a crime scene.  I think this trait was what was showcased superbly in Michael Madana Kama Rajan in that epic “Meen” comedy scene!!

But as they say, every criminal always leaves a clue without him realising it. So, when mami comes back, her first question is, “Enna nadanthuthu inga? Door’ukku pinnaala arisi ellam kidakku?” I have always felt that most of the mamis are most qualified to be forensic experts and part of crime investigation departments in the world.

Mama: “Aaru unnai inga vara chonna? Inga onnum nadakallai. Nee hall’ukku poi WhatsApp paathundu iru.”

Mama has now cut the vegetables for Molagoottal and kept it in gas with water for boiling. People who cook regularly know that it is advisable not to keep the stove in full burner but in medium always. Mama kept it in full burner and is now busy thuruving the coconut with his back to the stove. Soon, there is a burning smell which has now reached the adjacent room where mami is checking her WhatsApp. Mama, though in the kitchen, hasn’t yet caught up with the burning smell, merrily drowned in Sanjay Sub’s Nalinakanthi now.

Mami: Enna aduppula kariyarathu? Adi pidikara smell varathu???

Mama by now realises that his deep diving into Manavyalakinchara has killed his Molagoottal and puts off the gas. Mami now has had enough of it.

Mami: Neenga samachathu ellam porum. Naane pannikiren. Neenga maarungo.

Multi-tasking is an art perfected by mamis into science.

She takes over the kitchen and makes good the Molagoottal with the partially burnt out vegetables etc.….  Salad is cut. One Puleeinji is also quickly added to the menu.  And pappadam is fried.

It’s time for lunch now and …

Mama: Enna, molagoottal’a uppu konjam kammi’ya irukku?

Pic Courtesy: Cinema Express

Vaccine Aayyacha?

The latest addition to conversation starters among Tambrahm mamas and mamis is “Vaccine Aayaacha?”  In fact, this is fast replacing the other popular and seasonal kusalam vicharikara questions like “Enna Soukiyama?” “Verenna Visesham?”, “Jathagam eduthaacha?”, “Maattu ponnukku ethavathu visesham unda?”, “Ganga Snanam aacha?” etc.… which have been ruling the Tambrahm conversations for a long time. But, as of now nothing else matters except the vaccine issue.

If by chance the answer to the “Vaccine aayaacha?” question is a “No”, then it is like the end of the world. “Ennathu… innum oru dose’a eduthukalaya? Naan rendu dosum correcta eduthundaachu.” For the mamas and mamis, the accompanying feeling is akin to getting the Engineering college seat for their kids. If the answer is yes, then the immediate question is of course, “Covishield’a, Covaxin’a?” This is similar to – “Unga pasanga Foreign’la irukaala, India’la irukaala?” question these days!

If the answer is “Covaxin”, then finished. “Covaxin’a? Yen atha potundel? Covaxin’a WHO approve’a pannalayaame innum…”  The other person has to hide is disappointment and frustration in facing this question repeatedly these days.  “Naanga Pona centre’la Covaxin thaan stock irunthathu. Pottundutten…”  And in some consolatory measure will add “Aana paarungo…. Namma Modi’ye Covaxin thaan potundaar.”

“Naan rendu dosum Covishield pottundathanaala, next year ennoda 2^nd ponnoda 1^st delivery’kku America pogarathukku onnum problem varaathu…” In one sentence, mama has now conveyed more than one point. That he took Covishield. He has taken both the doses. His one of the daughters is in America. That the daughter is in family way. And they will be travelling to America to help the daughter during the delivery! Covaxin mama, now feeling relieved to get a chance to change the topic of conversation, quips in. “Oh, congratulations! Very good, very good. Aachu illiya, kalyanam aagi oru naalu/anju varusham…?”  To this the Covishield mama, “Unga kitta mattum thaan cholli irukken. Mathavaa kitta ellam ippo cholla vendaam, kettela.” This is so typical of Tambrahm mamas and mamis. They themselves will let the “family way” news out and will then request not to tell others!

And the vaccine conversation continues. “Enna side effect ethavathu irunthutha? Enakku konjam body pain mattum irunthathu oru naalaikku.  Dolo edutha naala fever ellam varalai.” To this question, the Covaxin mama senses an upper hand. He emphasises that “Covishield’a compare panratha Covaxin’la side effect’e illai theriyumo? Enakku oru problem varalai…!”

“Ungaloda rendu dosum aayidutha…?” Now for the Covaxin mama, apart from the frustration of answering questions regarding Covaxin, he also has to deal with the fact that due to shortages in Covaxin, he has taken only his first dose. “Enga..? Athu thaan stock’e illiye… Second dose baaki…” But that lament doesn’t stop the unsolicited advice that comes his way – “Rendu dosum eduthukkara vara jaakarithaiyave irungo”

Then comes the Government Vs Private question.  This is similar to “Unga connection BSNL’a, Jio vaa?”  “Neenga enga poi potundel? Naan rendu dosum Apollo’la poi than pottunden”. The Covaxin mama feels an advantage here and declares, “Inga Bombay’la BMC centre la thaan naan potunden. Romba convenient’a irunthathu. Tea/Coffee, Biscuits ellam kudutha.  Excellent arrangements. Athuvum free. Apollo’ la 1000 Rs mela charge panni irupaane…?”  Then he gives a lesser known funda about vaccines. “Eppozhuthume vaccine’na government thaan better. Avaa kitta daily fresh stock irukkum. Polio/BCG vaccine’leye itha pathirukken.”

Now the score is tied at 2-2 between Covishield mama and Covaxin mama. Now the vaccine question extends to the family. “Aathula mami’kku vaccine aayidutha? Naanum wife’um ore samayathula pottukka vendaamnu 1 week gap’la eduthundom”. This is another chance for the Covaxin mama to rub it in. “Covaxin’la thaan side effect onnum kidayaathe… Naanum mamiyum chernthe vaccine eduthundom!

“Innum pasangalakku ellam vaccination aagala… Paiyannukku 1 dose baaki. Maattu ponnukku rendu dosum baaki… Intha Covishield’la rendu dosukkum nadupura gap’a jaasthi panni ore confusion pannitaa.  Oru madiri rendu dosum mudinja thaan konjam nimmadhiya irukkum”.  Covaxin mama joins the crib, “Vaccine shortage inga. Atha naala ellarum waiting. Namma minnaala summer vacationukku oorukku poga ticket book panrathukku railway counter’la wait pannuvome…  Counter open pannina 10 nimishathula… sleeper ellam poyidum.  Athu madiri aayaachu. Site open panni 10 second’ la slot ellam poyidarathu…  Cowin App’ kku badila “Coloss” app nnu per vechurukalaam. Colossal waste of time, I say! Intha App irukke, full’a OTP thaan. “Only Time Pass”!

For Covishield mami who is also listening to this conversation, this is the time for her to pitch in as well. “Intha madiri problem ellam America’la illave illai. En ponnu cholraale. Anga veetukku veedu vanthu kooptu kooptu vaccine podaraallam. Just intha Corona varathukku minaala December’la thirumbi vanthom. Illana ippo anga thaan irunthiruppom sugama.  Ithellam oru vazhiya mudinja thaan, adutha January’la yaavathu America pogalaam. This couple is presently in “Love America” stage in what I call as “Hate-Love-Hate cycle” as far as America is concerned. For more details on this cycle, please do read my earlier article “America poyirunthappo….!”

Now Covaxin mami will not let this go. “America’la vaccine certificate paper’la thaan tharaalaame. Inga romba convenient.  Vaccine pottunda odane, phone’leye anupichudaraa. Enna antha Modi photo’va avoid panni irukkalaam”.

Covishield mami of course has the last word or last laugh. “Ennavo pongo. Kali muthiduthu… Ippo Vaccination than romba mukkiyamaana qualification aayaachu.  Matrimonial advertisement’la kooda “Wanted Vadamal bride for my son” ‘kku bathila “Wanted Vaccinated bride for my son…” nnu vanthudum polarukku!”

On that note, Ungaloda Vaccine Aayaacha?

Corona mudinju 1st Kalyanam!

It’s been almost six months now since Corona struck India. This also means that its six months since most of us attended any kalyanam, kaarthi in person. For Tambrahm mamas and mamis, it is a record which they would never like to boast of or want to repeat.  So hearing laments like these are common these days during phone conversations:

“Oru kalyanama? Kaarthiyaa? Corona vanthaalum vanthuthu, aathuleye adanju kidanthindu irukkom!”

“Antha pachai gopura border podavai puthusa vaangi vechen. Use panrathukku chance’e illama poyiduthu!

“Bank locker la irukara pandam ellam use panni maasangal aagarathu”

 “Oru vaaikku rujiyaa saddhi chappttu etthara kaalam aayaachu…?” (This of course is mama’s mind voice)

For most mamas and mamis who are retired and are now in the senior citizen bracket and mostly living alone, aathu functions are the only avenue to socialise, meet people and re-charge!  That joy has been deprived now, thanks to Corona.

In the meantime, some of them did get the experience of attending Kalyanams, Seemandhams Aandu niravus etc On line through live streaming/Zoom… I had written about the same in my earlier post – “Aathu vishesham over Zoom!” If you have not read it, please do read the same here.  Eppadi mute panrathu, eppo video’va cut panrathu, entha angle’ la phone vekarathu, Eppadi correct’a camera’va paathu atchathai podarathu… ippadi elllam athu padi.

“Enna thaan live streaming aanaalum, nera attend panni, ellarayum meet panni, vambu pesindu, nalla saddhiyum chapattu vantha madiri varuma?” All mamas and mamis are desperate to attend a family function in person once the corona is dead and gone.

So, what will happen post Corona and life gets back to normal (whenever that is), in all Tambrahm families when the 1^stkalyanam happens? This post is a chinna karpanai about that.

First of all, the 1^st kalyanam in the family post corona will have a huge attendance as everyone will use the opportunity to attend that wedding. Aachanukku peechaan, madanikku udapiranthaannu ellarum varuvaa to bless the couple.  Caterer kitta oru 25 -30% number normal’a vida yethi chollanam. Return gift ellam konjam jaasthi vaangi vechukanam. Hall’e konjam perisaa paakanam.  Overall budget konjam jaasthi plan pannikanum!

And some of the scenes and conversations at the venue (say in Cochin) be like:

Mama 1: Vaango vaango! Ippo thaan corona ellam illiye. Katti pidichundu welcome pannalaam. Vaango! Nera appadiye poi kaapi kazhinchudungo!

Mama2: Aamamaam. Namma Kochi Mani yoda, kaapi kudichu etthara naal aachu. Athukapparam thaan ellam!

 Mami1: Vaango Vaango Mami. Mask’oda vanthirukkel. Ethukku ippo mask ellam? Athu thaan Corona ellam aayache?

Mami2: Illa irukkara podavaikku ellaam matching’a blouse oda, mask ayum thechu vechundiruken. Use pannalaamennu thaan! Apparam innamum konjam jaakrathaiya irukarathu nallathu thaane. Naan kayila oru sanitiser bottle’um vechundu irukken!

Mami1: Minna ellam, intha America returned aal kaara thaan kayila sanitiser bottle vechuppa India varathha. Ippo intha Corona naale namma ellarum vechukum padiya aayidithu!

Mama1: 10 maasam kazhinju oru kalyanam attend panrathu ennakku record aakkum.

Mama2: Naan ennoda marumaan’oda pullai’yoda kalyanam attend panninen. Corona samayathileye panneutta.  Naanga oru 50 per mattum irunthom.

Mama1: Entrance’la panneerukku bathilaa sanitiser thelichurupaale? (Laughs to his own joke)

Mama2: Ellarukkum kaiyila oru bottle sanitiser kuduthutta. Ennakku Veshti Thundukku bathila Vashti, Mask kadachuthu! Hall’a normal’a starters serve panrathukku 10 per chuthindu iruppaale… athu madiri sanitiser vechindu oru 5 per hall’a chutthi chutthi vanthindu irunthaa! 

Mama1: Enna Rajamani? Innikku kalyanathoda live streaming unda??

Mama2: Athu thaan. Ellarum nera varalaame. Apparaum ethukku antha chelavu?

Mama1: Illa, Coronakku apparum athu oru fashion. Kozhanthaikku kaapu katarathuna kooda, FB Live, Live streaming’nnu aayiduthu! 

Mama1: Unakku therinjutho lliyo. Namma Kolankarai Ramachan paavam Corona’vila poyittaan.

Mama2: News Kidachuthu. Avanakku matha complaint ethavathu irunthutho?

Mama1: Avanukku vayasu 50 thaan. Namma ellam thapichom. Antha Guruvurappan thaan kaapathinaan.

Mama1: Apparam ennikku palakkadukku return? Innikevaa?

Mama2: Illai. Naan ingirunthu Mankombukku poi, ellaraiyum paathuttu, kovilla nerchai ellam mudichuttu 4 nalaikku apparam thaan return. Ernakulam varaikum vanthathukku, ellathayum cover pannalaam illiya. Neenga eppo return Bangalore’ukku?

Mama1: US lenthu en periya payyan family’oda vanthirukkaan. Avaalukku Kumarakom paakanumaam. Resort yetho book panni irukka. Anga oru 2 night irunthuttu apparam return.

Mama2: Kumarakom ippo world famous aayaachu! Namma kutti kaalathula antha vazhiyaa ethhara thonai poyirukkom chumma? Ippo ennadanna…

Mama1: Antha Arundathi Roy oda book vanthathilirunthu Kumarakom famous aayiduthu.

Mama2: Yei.. Aval oru verum naxal’aakkum. Vajpayee vanthu ponapparum thaan Kumarakom famous aachu. Namma naatukku BJP thaan laayakku. Ippo Modiya paarungo. Corona vukku apparum Chinese Apps’ukkellam Aapadichu vechirukkaar.

Mama1: Correct. Modi panninathu thaan correct. Naan Made in China vaangaratheye niruthuetten.

Mama2: Intha lockdown samayuthula, aatha perukka oru Vacuum Cleaner vaanganama irunthathu. Made in India vaa illattiyum Made in China’va vaangalaye! 

Because of the lockdown and all, Tambrahm Mamas didn’t get the opportunity to discuss about politics in the last so many months. So it is natural that when they got the chance, the discussions would veer around Indian politics.

Of course Mamas whose sons and or daughters lived in the US and who were lucky to return just before Covid, were happy to discuss about Trump re-election and of course namma Kamala (Harris)

Mama1: Naan Madras’la irukarathha, Besant Nagar la Kamalavoda thatha Gopalanai naan paathirukken. Naanga ore kadaila thaan maligai saamaan ellam vaanguvom.  Apparam naanga ore Sabha la member. Kacheri la ellam paathirukken.

Mama2: Avaa amma oru Hari’yaa paathu kalyanam panni iruntha, Kamala Hari’nnu peru vanthirukkum. But ava Non-Veg aakkum.

Mama1: Joe Biden jayichuttaana, oru vela, Besant Nagar’ukku avanai kootindu vanthaalum varuvaa! 

Mama1: Nadaswaram aaru? Nanna vaasikiraan.

Mama2: Local party thaan. Intha kriti enna ragam? Corona thaane? I mean Atana thaane?

Mama1: Enna oi? Corona nyabagam’aave irukkel? 

Mama1: Vadhyaar Palakkad lenthu vanthirukaarame? Train la vanthaara illa Helicopter’leya?

Mama2: Athu Corona samayathula naala. Enakku antha payyanoda family’a theriyum. Athuvum Suhas Vaadhyar chumma pose thaan kuduthaar helicopter minnala ninnundu.

Mama1: Chumma oru jokukaga ketten.

Mama2: But aana, US la namma oru vaadhyar Chopper service vechu nadathindu irukkaarnnu Whatsup la padichen. 

Can Mamis be left behind in the conversations and they be like:

Mami1: Enna Saratha? Mattuponukku ethavathu good news unda?

Mami2: Intha lockdown samayathula ethavathu good news varumnnu ethir patthen. Onnum varalai. Intha varshamnnu Josiyar cholli irukkaar. Paakalaam.

Mami1: Ambalapuzhaikku mudinja kootindu po rendu peraiyum. 

Mami1: Enna, ponnoda Jathakam eduthachaame? Ponnu avale yaaraiyum choose pannalaya?

Mami2: Panni iruntha thevalaye. Neengale paarungonnu cholluetta. Ithu oru periya thala vali. Romba conditions vera. Ithu vendam, athu vendamnnu!

Ethavathu nalla varan iruntha chollungo.

Mami1: Local’aa illa America vaa paakarela?

Mami1: Ava ippo Detroit la irukka. Americannu thaan solluetta.

Mami2: Seri, ethavathu varan kidacha chollaren.  Avasarama irunthaa Elite Matrimony la pottu paarungo.

And the group photo session be like:

Photographer: Ellarum konjam close’aa nillungo. Ippo Corona’kku ellam bayapada vendiyathu illai.

Mama1: Enna Ganapathy, photokku varaama ippadi 6 adi thalli ninna eppadi? Social distancing’aa? 

Aren’t you also eager and desperate to attend that 1^st kalyanam in the family?

Aathu Visesham over Zoom!

This Corona Virus has turned the whole world upside down. Things we thought would never function this way have now become a daily routine. No, I am not talking about all of us being engaged in BJP (Bartan, Jhadu, Pocha) activities at home for more than 2 months now. For so many years, some conference calls in offices would happen over Zoom. Ippo, olagame, Zoom la thaan odindu irukku!

These days, from business meetings (which is understandable) to school sessions to college lectures to Violin classes to Yoga sessions to cookery classes to Bharatnatyam classes and finally even gym sessions are all happening over Zoom! Will aathu functions that are time bound which cannot be postponed for obvious reasons be left behind? So, functions like Seemandham, Thottil/Peridal, Aandu niravu… have already started happening over Zoom.  I haven’t still attended any visesham over Zoom yet. I was thinking what if a function like Aandu Niravu happened over Zoom and this piece is a result of that karpanai!

Few days before the function which is happening somewhere in Chennai:

Wife: Intha lockdown naala even ennoda appa, amma, anna, thangai ellam functionukku vara mudiyaathu.

Husband: En side lenthum thaan yaarum vara porathu illa.

Wife: Ellarukkum Zoom invite anupichacha? Oru rendu naalaiku appuram, oru reminder anupichudu!

Husband: First intha, WhatsApp list ukku ellam anupichachu. Appuram, naalaikulla E mail list ukkum anupichuduven.

Wife: Zoom callukku, oru password pottudu. Ippo ellam Zoom la lot of security concerns’nnu cholra.

Husband: Yes. Yes. Rohit.Anduniravu@123 nnu password create pannitten.

Wife: Namma cousins ellam o.k. But periyavaalluku, Zoom la eppadi log in panrathu and other steps – oru chinna note create panni WhatsApp la pottudu.

Husband: Ippo ellarum Zoom’ la expert. Unga Appa/Ammakku venna puthusa irukalaam. Anyway suggestion taken. I will make a note.

Wife: Namma Vadhyaaroda confirmation vanthudutha? He is coming no?

Husband: Yes. But oru Junior vaadhyaar paiyana thaan anupuvennu sollitaar. He doesn’t want to take risk with Senior Vadhyaars it seems.

Wife: Yaarai aavathu anupicha seri. Marakaama society la permission vaangidu, Vaadhyaarukku.

Husband: I am waiting for the name of the Vadhyaar and Aadhar number. Adhu vantha odane, societykku e-mail anupichuduven.

Wife: Ethukkum, oru onnarai litre sanitiser, 10 extra mask, 10 set gloves ellam innikku Amazon la order pannidu.

Husband: Ethukku? Iruka porathu namma 3 moonu perum, vaadhyaarum. Ethukku extra Sanitiser?

(Wife followed the usual SOP for functions of ordering extra milk – just that the milk got replaced by Sanitiser)

Now over to the day of the Aandu niravu:

Wife: Zoom’a ON panniyaacha?

Husband: Vaadhyaar varattum, panren.

One very young junior vaadhyar comes.

Husband: Vaadhyaar, vaango vaango. First time varrel. Veedu kandu pidikarathukku onnum problem illiye.

Vaadhyaar: Onnum prachinai illai. Lockdown aanaalum google map work panrathe. Onga society thaan romba strict’a irukaale.

Husband: Yen, enna aachu?

Vaadhyaar: Phone la Aarogya Setu App iruntha thaan ulla viduvennu security sollitaan. Nalla valai. Rendu naa munaadi thaan, namma Modi solraar’nnu download panni vechen. Athula ‘Safe” nnu kaamichapparam thaan ullaye vittaan!

Husband: Sari, aarambipoma? Ellarum kaathundu iruppa.

Vaadhyaar: Enna manusha ellam Zoom la varaala? Ippo ella functionnum appadi thaan nadakarathu. Zoom aarambikarathukku munnaadi ungalakuu panjagachatha katti vitudaren. Atha ellarum paakka vendaame!

Husband: Ella Vadhyaar madiriyum romba tamasha pesarel. Sari, katti vittudungo.

When everything is set:

Vaadhyaar: Mama, Naazhi aayindurukku. Zoom’a start pannidungo. Namma 40 nimishathula ellathayum mudichu aaganum. Illa nna, call’a cut panniduvaan.

Husband: Cut aayiduthunna, ellarayum thirumba log in panna cholli irukken.

The Zoom call for the function starts:

From different parts of the world, in different time zones, birthday paiyanoda Thatha- Thathis/Paattis, Mama-Mamis, Athai-Athimbars, Chitti-Chittappas, Perimma-Periappas, many cousins and even one Kollu paatti have now logged in for the Aandu niravu.

The next few minutes,  a cacophony ensues:

Hi Amma, hello mama, namaskaram athimbar, Hi Cheenu etc etc

Naan pesarathu kekarathaa ungalukku?

Appa, neenga video’va ON pannungo, Blank’a irukku

Raghu, nee mute la irukka. Onnum kekka mattengarathu.

Cheenu, anga konjam light bright’aa aakku. Paatikku onnum theriyalennu cholraa!

Oru vazhiyaa, ellam settle aagarathukku oru 15 minutes aayiduthu.

Finally Vaadhyaar takes charge and starts.

Vaadhyaar: Appo Aarambikalama?  Naan pesarathu ellarukkum kekaratho illiyo? Ellarum ippo WFH’nnu Work From Home la irukkel. Ithu AFH – Attend From Home. Ithukku sila vidhi murai ellam irukku. Ellarum mute la irungo. Naan cholarathai gavanama kettu seiyungo. Chat’la pesindu irukapadathu.

Mami neenga vanthu ippadi vilakka yethungo.

Appadiye camera’va paathu rendu perum oru namaskaram pannidungo.  Camera East facing thaane?? Avaa avaa iruntha padiye, ivaalukku aasirvaadham pannidungo.

Thatha: Intha chinnavaal ellam settha antha pakkama nillungo. Namaskaaram panratha kurukka vara padathu!

While the function is going on in the Chennai house, others are in mute for now and having their own animated conversations.

Wife’s mother: Namma Cheenu voda Appa (Referring to the Sambandi) Veshti kattindu irukalamonno? Innikkum oru ara korai, shorts pottundu nikkaraare?

Wife’s father: Athukenna ippo. Zoom call thaane. Naanum oru shorts pottundu comfortable’a irukalamnnu thaan yosichen. Apparam, namma paatti paathanna kathuvaannu veduppa veshtiya kattindu irukken!

Kollu Paatti: Enna ithu, namma Raghu voda ponnu rendu perum oru pottu kooda ittu kaama, viseshathukku vanthu irukka?

Yarathu? Naalum kizhamaiyuma karuppu poo potta nightie’la? (Kollu paatti at this age has sharp eyes to identify all this, that too on the computer screen)

Mama: Avaalukku US’la ippo thoongara neram. Rendu ponnum chamathu ponnugal aakkum.

Athimbar: (Un-muting himself) – Vaadhyar, sankalpathula mandiratha maranthuttel. Konjam thirupi chollungo. (Muting himself)  Intha chinna pasangale ippadi thaan. Mandirangalai poora padikarathu kidaayaathu. Appo appo muzhunga vendiyathu!

In the meantime, younger cousins are chatting on the Zoom chat window!

In between, exactly after 40 minutes, Zoom cuts off the call and everyone had to re-join. Once again, audio kekaratha, video correcta irukka followed and the function resumed.

As part of the Aandu niravu function, the aayush homam starts.

Mama from Palakkad: Zoom la oru advantage. Homam aarambicha oda vendiyathu illa. Enakku pogai naale allergy!

Finally, the Vaadhyaar announces the Aashirvadham part.

Vaadhyaar: Periyavaa ellarum kaiyila konjam atchadaiya eduthukongo. Naan chollum pothu, phone camera meleyo, computer camera meleyo, atchadaiya pottu aasirvadham pannungo. Rendu atchadai porum. Alli pottu camerava damage panna vendaam.

After that is over:

Vaadhyaar: Ellarum anga anga iruntha padiye enna kudukarelnnu kaamichurungo, naan inga mandiratha chollikaren. Corona ellam mudinja udane marakaama, anupichudungo!

Rojano rojamaanasya, Shobano shobamaanasya kalyanaha… Thatha-Paati vagai aasirvadham kuzhandaikku oru swarna maalai,…,…

Chittappa-Chitti vagai aasirvadham , paiyannukku 1000 roobaai Amazon voucher!

And so on…

Vaadhyar: Appadiye kozhandaiyoda athaiyum, mamiyuma iruntha edathulenthe arathi eduthudungo! Paatum paadanam. 

With the Achaarya Sambavanai, the Zoom function comes to an end.

Cousin: (In a lighter vein) Cheenu, Appo saapaadu ellam??

Husband: Just wait pannungo. Lunch is ready. Inga irunthe, swamikku neivedyam panra maadiri, praanaya swaha pannidiren ungalukku! 

Vaadhyar: Sari, appo naan kalambaren. Enakku oru Zoomandham sorry Seemandham nadathi kudukka irukku, aduthathu!

What’s in a Tambrahm name? – Part 2

In my earlier piece “What’s in a Tambrahm name?” I had talked about how Tambrahms have a unique way of compressing long names and coming up with typical aathula koopadara pergal like – Vengidi for Venkatachalam, Naanu for Narayanan and so on. If you had missed that article, please read here.

This kind of naming and calling is usually aathukulla or within the extended family. But there is another unique way of naming and calling outside of the family as well.  This is what I am trying to explore here.

In the 50s to 70’s, most Tambrahms from Palakkad boarded the Jayanti Janata express and headed towards Mumbai or Kerala Express to Delhi for some Joli.  And when they arrived, they came equipped not with Engineering degrees as it is today, but with skills like typing, stenography, Accounting and above all English proficiency.  So, invariably most of the Indian companies those days had Tambrahms as typists, Stenographers, Secretaries, Executive assistants and Accountants. In fact, the domination of Tambrahms in this domain was so much that, it provoked the then Shiv Sena Chief Bal Thackeray to start a tirade against all mundu or as per him lungiwallah Madraasis!

It is usually said, “You are known by the company you keep!” In Tambrahm scheme of things, this is in fact literally true! That is, many times individuals are known and called by the company (organisation) they worked for. As we all know, in our previous generations, kids were always named after some Umaachi – Krishnan, Ganapathy, Raman, Sivan and so on. Since this naming convention was extensively used, in the Tambrahm circle there was always a surfeit of Krishnans, Ganapathys and the like. So, one way to differentiate each of them was to prefix the name with the name of the company they worked for.

So a Krishnan working in Batliboi will be Batliboi Krishnan!

One may think that Cadbury Sivan is a Sivan who loved Cadbury chocolates or a Raymonds Dorai loved wearing Raymond suits. Athu thaan kidayaathu!  Sivan working in Cadbury became Cadbury Sivan and a Dorai employed in Raymonds was known by Raymonds Dorai!

And then you had Godrej Mani, Kirloskar Parameswaran, Indian Oil Gopalakrishnan, Voltas Hari, Burmah Shell Janardhanan, Glaxo Balan, LIC Rajan, Remington Murthy, Brooke Bond Raghu, Metal Box Suri, Tata Ravi, Birla Krishnamurthy, Times of India Natarajan, Britannia Chandru, State Bank Padmanabhan, IOC Radhakrishnan, L&T Ramaswamy, Saibol Venu, IOB Kannan and so on! Even in address books, names will be written as TVS Vasudevan, Simpson Rajagopal, Bajaj Venkatraman and so on.

In functions, if someone had to be introduced it will invariably be with the company name suffix. So in a kalyanam one mama (IPCL Raghavan) was introducing another mama. “Ivar thaan Colgate Subbaraman!” For which Subbaraman quipped – “Naan ippo pension aayaachu. Athanaala verum Subbaraman nnu sollungo!” For which IPCL Raghavan responded, “Retired aana enna. Engalukku neenga ennikume Colgate Subbaraman thaan!”

This prefixing by company name became so ubiquitous that many mamas while talking on the phone had to introduce themselves such without which nobody could recognise them. Something like this in this telephone conversation:

Mama 1: Hello…..

Mama 2: Hello… aaru pesarathu?

Mama 1: Naan thaan Krishnaswamy pesaren.

Mama 2: Krishnaswamya? Entha Krishnaswamy?

Mama 1: Adhaan, FIAT Krishnaswamy!

Mama 2: FIAT Krishnaswamya? Chollungo. Chollungo, Sowkiyama?

Most ushaar mamas will introduce themselves with the company name in the 1^st place!

“Hello!

Naan Subbu!

 Enfield Subbu!”

In fact, I heard that Rajnikant’s dialogue of “Mala da, Anna Mala” in the film Annamalai was inspired by this Tambrahm naming scheme! The film’s Director Suresh Krishna is a Tambrahm brought up in Bombay, aache!

Solla pona, “My name is Bond. James Bond!” dialogue was exported by Tambrahms only😀

At times, the company connection to the name of the mamas extended to mamis also. As per that, I know of some mamis who were called as Saibol Sarojam and Kirloskar Kamala etc.

Apart from easy identification, there is one another periya advantage of linking the name with company. Antha company product ethavathu vaangum pothu, discount venumna correcta concerned mama va contact pannalaam! I recall one Godrej mama was everyone’s go to person for getting Godrej fridge and cupboard at whole sale prices!

While in Mumbai, most of the Tambrahms worked in private companies, in Delhi, it was mostly Central government departments. There was a time till 80’s when the entire Delhi bureaucracy was ruled by Tambrahms all the way up to the level of Secretary in ministries. Fortunately this naming convention was not adopted there, I think. Otherwise, we would have had Finance Ramachandran, Education Ramamurthy and so on!!! Health Balachandran and Agriculture Raman… would have been hilarious! But in Delhi, Tambrahms working in Public Sector Undertakings were promptly called by the company they worked for. SAIL Krishnamurthy is well known!

In Delhi, many mamas were also working with Newspapers . Hindu la work pannindu iruntha Vaithi  used to be known as Hindu Vaithi. When he got married and soon put on some weight, Hindu Vaithi soon became Gundu Vaithi 😀

I may be wrong here but, I didn’t notice this naming convention being adopted by other communities like Maharashtrians or Telugu. I have never come across a Bombay Dyeing Milind or a BARC Yashwant or for that matter a CEAT Balakrishna!

This tradition of prefixing with company names died a natural death post 90’s. Blame it on liberalisation and reforms for this also! Unlike that generation, sticking to one company throughout their career became passe for the post 90’s generation and this naming convention also died.  However, I am just wondering if the same had continued now also, some of the names will make us roll in the floor and laugh!

Makemytrip Rohit

Amazon Ashwin

Future Shashank

Ola Vinod

And so on!

Postscript: The spark for this piece germinated from a conversation I had with my friend Prognosys Sudharshan – so duly thanking him here.

Enna Vishesham?

In the hallowed lexicon of Tambrahms, the word “Vishesham” romba visheshamaakkum. Means very special.  It has very different meanings and interpretations depending on the context it is used. In English, they call this as “homographs”. As Tambrahms, we know and understand Homams better!  Intha homograph, homonymns ellam thalaikku mele pora samaachaarangal aakkum!

Coming back to the point of “Vishesham”, at the basic level, Vishesham means “special”? So if you see something special/different in a place and don’t know the reason, it is normal for one to ask:

Mama 1: Enna mama, innikku enna payasam ellam. Aathula enna vishesham?

Mama 2: Onnum illai! Ennoda payyanoda star birthday. Athu thaan vishesham innikku.

But beyond the basic level, it acquires different meanings depending upon the context and situation. For example:

Mama 1: Enna mama, paathu romba naal aachu. Aathula visheshama onnum illiye?

Mama 2: Enna vishesham? Paiyan Americavila thaan settle aavennu otha kalula nikkaraan. Vendaamda. Intha Trump naraya problems undaakindu irukkaannu chonna, aaru kekkara? Ippo Indiavila illaatha opportunitiesaa?

This is when you meet someone after a long while and get into basic enquiries about the family and checking in on them. Going further:

Mama 1: Apparam vera enna vishesham?

Mama 2: Ponnoda Jaathakam eduthaachu. Nalla varan ethaavathu iruntha chollungo.

Mama 1: Locala paakarela, Veliyoora? Localna konjam kashtam thaan swami. Athukku thaan ketten!

Here Vishesham means other happenings and news!

When a mama lands in Kerala and want to brush up his malayalam, he launches into something like this:

Mama 1: Enthondu vishesham?  (This is like – What’s happening? )

Mama 2: Yei! Ivadai Visheshamaaiyittu onnum illa!  (Nothing special here! )

At times, Vishesham is also used to refer festivals. Like this:

Mama 2: Ippo enge intha pakkam?

Mama 1: August maasathula thaan neraya vishesham unde. Rakshabandan lenthu aarambichu neraya leavu.

Going further, Vishesham gets more interesting.

Mama 1: Aathula mamikku visheshama onnum illiye? Paathu romba naalaachu.

Mama 2: Enna, intha pressure, sugar complaint thaan. Matha badi onnum problem illai!

Mama 1: Kaalukku onnum visheshama illiye?

Here Vishesham is used in the context of health and well-being! Aathula mami soukiyam thaane types!

Now in the 1st question, if you replace mami with daughter in law, then the word Vishesham takes a totally different meaning!  And intha vishesham is very popular and widely used.

Mami 1: Paiyannukku kalyanam aagi oru moonu varusham irukkuma? Maattu ponnukku visheshama onnum illiya?

Mami 2: Onnum illai. Intha kaalathu pasangal. Ennatha kekarathu? Ketta, “Give us time. We want to enjoy our space” nnu cholluva. Ellam kaala kaalathula nadantha thaane sari pattu varum! Pogaatha kovil illai. Pannaatha nerchai illai!

As most of you know this very well, in this context, Vishesham is about pregnancy of their wards. Which is a perennial stress point these days with Tambrahm parents!

We are still not done with exploring the various dimensions of this Vishesham. Continuing the conversation….

Mami 1: Onnum kavala padaatheengo. Engaathuleyum en payanukkum appadi thaan aachu. Apparam, Ambalapozha Krishnan kovilukku poyittu vanthom. Oru maasathukku paal payasam nerchai.  Oru varushatula kozhanthai poranthuduthu!  Ambalapozhai ithukku visheshamaakkum!

Mami 2: Ambalapuzhaiya? Ippo thaan kelvi padaren! Sari, Angeyum poyittu varrom!

Now, here Vishesham stands for “renowned” or “known for”!

Further…

Mami 1: Ithula enna visheshamna…. Naangal nerchai mudicha pathaavathu maasathula kozhanthai taannu poranthuduthu! Balakrishnannu pera vechuttom!

Here, Vishesham takes the meaning of “Interesting”!

So, as I mentioned in the beginning, the word Vishesham romba Visheshamaakkum!

Like this, I am not sure if there is any other Visheshamaana word in Tambrahm dictionary.  Konjam visheshama think panni, chollungo.  Athayum konjam visheshama research panni blog ezhuthiyudalaam!