Corona kaalathula kacheri season!

It is that time of the year when Carnatic music is in the air usually in Chennai. The end of December is when the season gets to its peak with Tambrahm mamas and mamis trying to schedule their days around the choice of Kacheris on offer. In my earlier article – “Innikku Aaru Kacheri?” I had written about the buzz in a Tambrahm households during the season. If you haven’t read it earlier, please read here before proceeding further.  But this year, the “Season” buzz is missing due to the Corona after effects which are still lingering in the air.

I know of many mamas and mamis who make it a point to be in Chennai every December to enjoy the music season. And those who live in Chennai and do their annual or biennial visit to America to be with their sons and daughters usually make it a point to return to India before November. This serves three purposes. One, to escape the summer in India and be there. Two, return by Oct/November so as to escape the harsher winter in the US. Three, to be in Chennai for the music season.  To go a step further, there are mamas and mamis who drop a hint to their NRI sons and daughters to plan the pregnancies in such a way that the delivery will be around March to May time frame. By this, they can be of support to their children for six months during delivery and still come back in time for the margazhi music season!

This year though, the entire season has gone virtual with no live concerts but kacheris are being streamed into our homes. Of course this has left a lot of mamas and mamis utterly disappointed and despondent.  “Ennomo pa, music season la oru kacheri kooda poi kekka mudiyaama poyiduthu!” and accordingly the conversations this year have turned different. Like this:

Mama: Enna thaan virtual streaming naalum, oru live kacheri paatha madiri illai.

Mami: Ithaye ethara vaati chollindu iruppel? Etho intha situation’leyum kacheri kekka mudiyarathe… sandosha padungo! Aathuleye okkandhundu kekka mudiyaratho illiyo?

Mamis are always practical and tend to make do with what is available, you see.

Mama: Athu seri. Aanaalum, kacherila friends’a ellam meet panni, varthamaanam pesi, kacheriya analyse panra madiri varaathu.

Mami: Neenga analyse panrathu sabha canteen menu’nnu nanna theriyum!  Sabha’kku porathe canteenukku thaane. Ennoda friend Bhagiyam chonnale. “Ungaathu Mamava moonu naal sabha canteen la paathen” nu, pona vashe!

Mama: Neeyum thaan en kooda varaai, kacherikku. Oru Kaapi kudikarathoda seri!

Mami: Naan varaatha pothu, enna mezhukellam – bajji, bonda’nnu thinnundu iruppel! Cholesterol report paatha theriyarathe!

Mama: Seri atha vidu. Kacheri nerla kekkarache, raga alapanai pothu ragatha guess panrathula oru rasam. Inga virtual kacheri’ la first’e enna ragam’nnu pottudara…

Mami: (Mind voice) Aamaam, etho Semmangudi’yoda vaarisu madiri pesarathu…

Since it is all virtual, mamas don’t get to meet their friends and discuss about the kacheri etc…  This happens on the phone these days. Sample this:

Mama 1: Enna Ramachandran, neenga kacheri ellam kekkarela?

Mama 2: Virtual kacheri’nna free’ya thaane irukkanum. Ithukkum charge panraale? Aniyaayama irukku…  Nidhi Chala Sukhama’nnu ellarum paadarathoda sari.

Mama 1: Illai, virtual naalum avaalukku selavu irukke… Free’a pannina kattu padi aagathu…

Mama 2: Ticket’na vendaam. Intha varusham season’a skip pannidalaamnu irunthen. Paiyyan season pass pottu kuduthuttaan. “Yours truly Margazhi” la kacheri kettundu irukken.  By mistake avaa site la subscribe pannaama, YouTube la subscribe pannitaan! Nadu nadu vila ads’aa vanthu padutharathu!

Mama 1: Naanum season ticket vaangitten.  Paadaravaalukku minnala audience illaama paadarathu kashtam thaan.

Mama 2: Virtual enna puthusa? Minnadi ellam AIR leyum, Doordarshan leyum ippadi thaane kacheri pannindu irunthaa?

Mama 1: Athu correct thaan. Nethikku Sanjay Subramanyan kacheri kettela? Thodi RTP asathittaan!

Mama 2: Ketten ketten. Asaadhyama irunthathu!

Mama 1: Ippo vara youngsters’um nanna paadaraa… Ritvik Raja’nnu T.M.Krishna madiriye paadaraan.

Mama 2: Avan TMK oda sishyan’aache. Athe style. As expected, TMK oda kacheri Yours truly la illa. Avan thaniya Friends in Concert’nnu arrange panninaan. Oru Kacherikku 2500 Rs charge. Romba jaasthi. Athuvum Corona samayathula.

Mama 1: Naan TMK ‘oda kacheri kekarathaye niruthitten. He should talk less and focus on music. He should let his music do the talking.

Mama 2: I don’t agree with his views. Athanaala avan kacheri kekaratha niruthala. He is an exceptionally gifted singer, you see.

Mama 1: Athu correct… But he should not use his God given talent for insulting his own music fraternity! Ippo namma ethukku avana pathi discuss pannindu…?

Mama 2: Intha virtual kacheri’la oru irritation enna’nna nadu nadu vila link poyidarathu… Connectivity problem…

Mama 1: Enakku antha prachanai illa. Ambani zindabad. Jio connectivity nanna irukku. Innikku Ranjani Gayatri kacheri irukku. Eppadi irukkunu paarpom.  Virtual concert’ukku Voncert’nnu per kuduthirukaa.  Article padichelaa?

Mama 2: Padinoru manikku upload pannitaale… Naan kettuten. Ranjani Gayatri as usual very good. 

Mama 1: Sari – appo naanum kettudaren. Aamaam neenga chinna vayasula violin vaasipele… Ippo vaasikarathu undaa?

Mama 2: Wifu’kku aathula 2^nd fiddle vaasikarathoda sari!

At the same time, mamis also have a different set of issues this year as can be inferred from their conversations.

Mami 1: Enna mami, eppadi irukkel? Kacheri ellam kekkarela?

Mami 2: Etho konjam konjam… Intha virtual season naala, namakku thaan vela jaasthi aayiduthu. Eppa paaru kaapi yum norukku theeniyum panni poda vendi irukku.  Anga Ragam Thanam Pallavi poyindu irukaracha inga murukku, thattai’nnu kadichu thinnuttu Ragam Thanam palvali’nnu paattu paadindu irukaar engaathu mama!

Mami 1: Aamamaam. Normal season’nna engaathu mama kaalangaarthaleye kilambi lecture, demonstration, kacheri’nnu ellam mudichuttu raathri thaan varuvaar. Aagaaram ellam sabha canteenleye nadakkum. Intha varusham veetuleye irunthu en pranana vaangaraar.

Mami 2: Etho advertisement varathe… Mylapore fine arts la canteen lenthu swiggy’la home delivery panraalaame… Try panninelaa?

Mami 2: Nethikku thaan try panninom. Tiffan ellam nanna irunthathu…

Mami 1: Appo naanum avar kitta sollideren. Enna venumo order pannikattum…

Mami 2: Nethikku Sudha Raghunathan kacheri ketten… Etho interest’e illaama paadara madiri irunthathu! Nanna thaan paadina…

Mami 1: Inime thaan samayal kattula vela koraiyume… Okkanthu kekkaren.

Mami 2: Ongathula entha site’la kacheri kekkarel?  Intha link, antha linku’nnu ore confusion’aa irukku…

Mami 1: Engathula antha Music Academy season pass eduthirukom. Etho adutha varshamaavathu intha Corona ellam illama direct’a Samajavaragamana kekka mudinja sari!

Mami 2: Correct. But, season’a cancel pannaama kacheri ellam konjam kekka mudinjuthe.

Pic Courtesy: The Hindu

Corona mudinju 1st Kalyanam!

It’s been almost six months now since Corona struck India. This also means that its six months since most of us attended any kalyanam, kaarthi in person. For Tambrahm mamas and mamis, it is a record which they would never like to boast of or want to repeat.  So hearing laments like these are common these days during phone conversations:

“Oru kalyanama? Kaarthiyaa? Corona vanthaalum vanthuthu, aathuleye adanju kidanthindu irukkom!”

“Antha pachai gopura border podavai puthusa vaangi vechen. Use panrathukku chance’e illama poyiduthu!

“Bank locker la irukara pandam ellam use panni maasangal aagarathu”

 “Oru vaaikku rujiyaa saddhi chappttu etthara kaalam aayaachu…?” (This of course is mama’s mind voice)

For most mamas and mamis who are retired and are now in the senior citizen bracket and mostly living alone, aathu functions are the only avenue to socialise, meet people and re-charge!  That joy has been deprived now, thanks to Corona.

In the meantime, some of them did get the experience of attending Kalyanams, Seemandhams Aandu niravus etc On line through live streaming/Zoom… I had written about the same in my earlier post – “Aathu vishesham over Zoom!” If you have not read it, please do read the same here.  Eppadi mute panrathu, eppo video’va cut panrathu, entha angle’ la phone vekarathu, Eppadi correct’a camera’va paathu atchathai podarathu… ippadi elllam athu padi.

“Enna thaan live streaming aanaalum, nera attend panni, ellarayum meet panni, vambu pesindu, nalla saddhiyum chapattu vantha madiri varuma?” All mamas and mamis are desperate to attend a family function in person once the corona is dead and gone.

So, what will happen post Corona and life gets back to normal (whenever that is), in all Tambrahm families when the 1^stkalyanam happens? This post is a chinna karpanai about that.

First of all, the 1^st kalyanam in the family post corona will have a huge attendance as everyone will use the opportunity to attend that wedding. Aachanukku peechaan, madanikku udapiranthaannu ellarum varuvaa to bless the couple.  Caterer kitta oru 25 -30% number normal’a vida yethi chollanam. Return gift ellam konjam jaasthi vaangi vechukanam. Hall’e konjam perisaa paakanam.  Overall budget konjam jaasthi plan pannikanum!

And some of the scenes and conversations at the venue (say in Cochin) be like:

Mama 1: Vaango vaango! Ippo thaan corona ellam illiye. Katti pidichundu welcome pannalaam. Vaango! Nera appadiye poi kaapi kazhinchudungo!

Mama2: Aamamaam. Namma Kochi Mani yoda, kaapi kudichu etthara naal aachu. Athukapparam thaan ellam!

 Mami1: Vaango Vaango Mami. Mask’oda vanthirukkel. Ethukku ippo mask ellam? Athu thaan Corona ellam aayache?

Mami2: Illa irukkara podavaikku ellaam matching’a blouse oda, mask ayum thechu vechundiruken. Use pannalaamennu thaan! Apparam innamum konjam jaakrathaiya irukarathu nallathu thaane. Naan kayila oru sanitiser bottle’um vechundu irukken!

Mami1: Minna ellam, intha America returned aal kaara thaan kayila sanitiser bottle vechuppa India varathha. Ippo intha Corona naale namma ellarum vechukum padiya aayidithu!

Mama1: 10 maasam kazhinju oru kalyanam attend panrathu ennakku record aakkum.

Mama2: Naan ennoda marumaan’oda pullai’yoda kalyanam attend panninen. Corona samayathileye panneutta.  Naanga oru 50 per mattum irunthom.

Mama1: Entrance’la panneerukku bathilaa sanitiser thelichurupaale? (Laughs to his own joke)

Mama2: Ellarukkum kaiyila oru bottle sanitiser kuduthutta. Ennakku Veshti Thundukku bathila Vashti, Mask kadachuthu! Hall’a normal’a starters serve panrathukku 10 per chuthindu iruppaale… athu madiri sanitiser vechindu oru 5 per hall’a chutthi chutthi vanthindu irunthaa! 

Mama1: Enna Rajamani? Innikku kalyanathoda live streaming unda??

Mama2: Athu thaan. Ellarum nera varalaame. Apparaum ethukku antha chelavu?

Mama1: Illa, Coronakku apparum athu oru fashion. Kozhanthaikku kaapu katarathuna kooda, FB Live, Live streaming’nnu aayiduthu! 

Mama1: Unakku therinjutho lliyo. Namma Kolankarai Ramachan paavam Corona’vila poyittaan.

Mama2: News Kidachuthu. Avanakku matha complaint ethavathu irunthutho?

Mama1: Avanukku vayasu 50 thaan. Namma ellam thapichom. Antha Guruvurappan thaan kaapathinaan.

Mama1: Apparam ennikku palakkadukku return? Innikevaa?

Mama2: Illai. Naan ingirunthu Mankombukku poi, ellaraiyum paathuttu, kovilla nerchai ellam mudichuttu 4 nalaikku apparam thaan return. Ernakulam varaikum vanthathukku, ellathayum cover pannalaam illiya. Neenga eppo return Bangalore’ukku?

Mama1: US lenthu en periya payyan family’oda vanthirukkaan. Avaalukku Kumarakom paakanumaam. Resort yetho book panni irukka. Anga oru 2 night irunthuttu apparam return.

Mama2: Kumarakom ippo world famous aayaachu! Namma kutti kaalathula antha vazhiyaa ethhara thonai poyirukkom chumma? Ippo ennadanna…

Mama1: Antha Arundathi Roy oda book vanthathilirunthu Kumarakom famous aayiduthu.

Mama2: Yei.. Aval oru verum naxal’aakkum. Vajpayee vanthu ponapparum thaan Kumarakom famous aachu. Namma naatukku BJP thaan laayakku. Ippo Modiya paarungo. Corona vukku apparum Chinese Apps’ukkellam Aapadichu vechirukkaar.

Mama1: Correct. Modi panninathu thaan correct. Naan Made in China vaangaratheye niruthuetten.

Mama2: Intha lockdown samayuthula, aatha perukka oru Vacuum Cleaner vaanganama irunthathu. Made in India vaa illattiyum Made in China’va vaangalaye! 

Because of the lockdown and all, Tambrahm Mamas didn’t get the opportunity to discuss about politics in the last so many months. So it is natural that when they got the chance, the discussions would veer around Indian politics.

Of course Mamas whose sons and or daughters lived in the US and who were lucky to return just before Covid, were happy to discuss about Trump re-election and of course namma Kamala (Harris)

Mama1: Naan Madras’la irukarathha, Besant Nagar la Kamalavoda thatha Gopalanai naan paathirukken. Naanga ore kadaila thaan maligai saamaan ellam vaanguvom.  Apparam naanga ore Sabha la member. Kacheri la ellam paathirukken.

Mama2: Avaa amma oru Hari’yaa paathu kalyanam panni iruntha, Kamala Hari’nnu peru vanthirukkum. But ava Non-Veg aakkum.

Mama1: Joe Biden jayichuttaana, oru vela, Besant Nagar’ukku avanai kootindu vanthaalum varuvaa! 

Mama1: Nadaswaram aaru? Nanna vaasikiraan.

Mama2: Local party thaan. Intha kriti enna ragam? Corona thaane? I mean Atana thaane?

Mama1: Enna oi? Corona nyabagam’aave irukkel? 

Mama1: Vadhyaar Palakkad lenthu vanthirukaarame? Train la vanthaara illa Helicopter’leya?

Mama2: Athu Corona samayathula naala. Enakku antha payyanoda family’a theriyum. Athuvum Suhas Vaadhyar chumma pose thaan kuduthaar helicopter minnala ninnundu.

Mama1: Chumma oru jokukaga ketten.

Mama2: But aana, US la namma oru vaadhyar Chopper service vechu nadathindu irukkaarnnu Whatsup la padichen. 

Can Mamis be left behind in the conversations and they be like:

Mami1: Enna Saratha? Mattuponukku ethavathu good news unda?

Mami2: Intha lockdown samayathula ethavathu good news varumnnu ethir patthen. Onnum varalai. Intha varshamnnu Josiyar cholli irukkaar. Paakalaam.

Mami1: Ambalapuzhaikku mudinja kootindu po rendu peraiyum. 

Mami1: Enna, ponnoda Jathakam eduthachaame? Ponnu avale yaaraiyum choose pannalaya?

Mami2: Panni iruntha thevalaye. Neengale paarungonnu cholluetta. Ithu oru periya thala vali. Romba conditions vera. Ithu vendam, athu vendamnnu!

Ethavathu nalla varan iruntha chollungo.

Mami1: Local’aa illa America vaa paakarela?

Mami1: Ava ippo Detroit la irukka. Americannu thaan solluetta.

Mami2: Seri, ethavathu varan kidacha chollaren.  Avasarama irunthaa Elite Matrimony la pottu paarungo.

And the group photo session be like:

Photographer: Ellarum konjam close’aa nillungo. Ippo Corona’kku ellam bayapada vendiyathu illai.

Mama1: Enna Ganapathy, photokku varaama ippadi 6 adi thalli ninna eppadi? Social distancing’aa? 

Aren’t you also eager and desperate to attend that 1^st kalyanam in the family?

Lockdown paduthara paadu!

The usually chatty and eventful day in the life of Tambrahms have become chattier and more eventful during these lockdown days.

“Innikku menu enna?” – Even during normal days, as I have written in one of my earlier posts, this is one phrase which will get the goat of mamis at Tambrahm households often.  Ippo kekave vendaam.  Due to the lockdown, mamis who usually manage the menu time table very efficiently using complex algorithmic formula that has been handed over by their ammas, are at sea in the past few weeks. Due to non-availability or shortage of key groceries and provisions, ivalavu varshama use pannindu iruntha technique ellam onnuthukkum ubayogam illaama poyiduthu!

“Oru ravai mattum aathula stock iruntha, ethara easy theriyumo? Kaarthala tiffinukku Upma oru naal, rava idli oru naal nnu pannalaam. Appadiye ravaiya vechu Pongalum pannalaam. Upma va konjam maathi oru naal Rava kichidinnu thatti vidalaam.  Apparam raathiri palagarathukku rava dosai panni oru naal samaalichudalaam. Apparam, saayangaalam enna tiffinnnu mama kekarache, rava kesariyum pannalaam! Intha ravai illaama thindaattama irukku. Intha essential items la first ravaiya manufacture panna cholli, supply panna thodanganam”! This was a mami talking to her friend who is stuck in Florida now. “Neenga yen kekarel? South Indian items ellaam inga Indian stores’la out of stock! Rava mattum illai, oru saamaan inga stock illa! India vula Ponni arisi, puzhungal arisi ithellam ungalukku kidaikume? Maava araichu vechutta idli, doasai nnu kadaiya ottalaam. Bread’a thinnu thinnu aluthu poyaachu, mami!”

Not only Rava. There are other such “God sent” items like Aval… which are also on short supply, making the life of the mami tougher. Conversations like these are common at Tambrahm households these days:

Mama: Innikku menu enna?

Mami: Kaalangaarthala ezhuntha udane, intha kelviya engitta kekka dheengo. Athu thaan T.N. Seshan yetho sonnaaraame. Palakkad Iyers are either good cooks or crooks nnu? Naan ithu vara neenga cook panni paathathu illai. Samayala pathi vaai kizhiya pesarathoda sari! Oru naal neenga samayungalen.

Mama: Enna ippadi sollitta? Antha kaalathula enga kovil Annual Sastha preetikku enga thatha Parameshwara Iyeroda paal payasuthukkunne manusha varuvaa!

Mami: Intha kathaiya engitta oru 101 praavisyam cholli iruppel. Naan unga thatha va pathi kekalai. Unga appavum nanna paayasam veppar. Naan paathirukken.  Ongala pathi kekaren.

Mama: Ippo enna? Enna menu nnu thane ketten? Etha panrayo pannu.

The fact is many mamas are good at basic level cooking. Some have passed advanced grade also. But there are many, who, even if they don’t know to cook, will get very high marks in theory!

“Samalaya pathi vakkanaiya pesuvaar engaathu mama. Ellam therinju vechundu, en uyira vaanguvaar, intha manushan”, I have often heard this from many mamis!

Once the menu is finalised somehow, looking at what is available and what is not and all, the next question which creates additional head ache for the mami is “Thottukka enna?”

Mami: Tifinnukku Idli panni vechurukken. Vanthu eduthukongo.

Mama: Idli ya? Thottukka enna?

Mami: Idli panrathe perisu intha samayathula. Ithula thottukka enna vereya? Irukkara molaga podiya thottundu chaapidungo. Kalyana aathu tiffin madiri Chutney, Sambhar, Molaga podi, Gotsu’nnu varietya ellam ippo panna mudiyaathu. Irukaratha kazhiyungo!

Mama: (Mind voice) Yetho matha nalla ellam romba variety’a pannina madiri!

As you are aware, thanks to lockdown, most of the mamas are now WFH. WFH nna Working From Home illai. Anyway, retired aayache. Because the maid servants are not coming, they are now “Working For Home” in addition to their WhatsApping From Home!

So in the morning, once the Coffee is over, mama Shanka Chakra Gada Pani madiri, oru kaiyula thodappam, innoru kayila Mop stick, naduvula moramuma veetta clean panrennu does his bit these days in cleaning the house. As per mami, in normal days, the same Shanka Chakra Gada Pani mama will have mobile phone in one hand, TV remote in another and US Ponnu vaangi kudutha I-pad in between while sipping his filter Kaapi on and off.

Though the cleaning effort and the helping hand of the mama are commendable, mami is anxious to know when the government will start allowing non-essential goods to be sold. Yenna, mama cleaning aarambichathulenthu, shopping panrathukku list perisaayinde irukku. So far, in the past 4 weeks the score is 5 wickets sorry 4 items down. Mop stick rendeyum udachachu. Thudaikara bucket handle poyaachu. Vilakku maar – naar naar’aa vanthundu irukku. Paathiram thekkara Scotch Brite onnu micham illai.  Ithellam udane vaangiye aaganum.

The other day, when mami was having a WhatsApp video call with her friend, the friend mami said, “Enna mami, unga aathu floor oda shining enakku inga theriyarathe!” Mama overheard this and the result was the breaking of the mop stick. Not just one. But the second one which was kept for standby purposes also in an attempt to impress mami further!

Just like everyone else now, mamas and mamis are craving for the day when the lockdown will be fully lifted and life can go back to normal. Some of the laments of the mamas include:

Oru walkingukku kooda poga mudiyaama, veettaye evalavu naalaikku suthi vanthindu irukarathu?

Oru Kovilukku poi ethara naal aayachu? Intha varsham namma kovilla bhagavatha sapthaham ellam miss panni aachu!

Aryaas hoteloda Nei roast, masala vadaiyoda taste’a maranthu poyaachu!

Adutha vaaram Sabha vila Sanjay Subramanyam kacheri irunthathu – athuvum cancel!

Oru kalyanam, karthigainnu onnuthukkum poga mudiyama aayachu. Inime oru varshathukku veeta vittu engeyum eranga mudiyathu!

Innaikku Trissur Pooram kodiyettukku oru manusha illai! Ennoda Jeevithathula itha parupen’nnu naan vijaarikave illai!

Intha China kaaran eduthu vitta virus naala, logam enna paadu padarathu paathiyo?

Naan decide panni aachu, inime China voda oru product naan vaanga porathu illa! Vera entha country product aanaalum o.k. But, China never!

Neenga enna decide panni irukkel?

 

Image courtesy: Webdunia

Connecting the Dots – Tambrahm Style!

Avanaa? Namma Rajamony! Peruvemba athaiyoda, oruppodiyoda, thambi aakkum. ISRO la yaakkum joli! Periya post la irukkaan!

Welcome to “Connecting the Dots – Tambrahm style”!

Among many other things, if there is one unique thing at which you can’t beat the yesteryear generation of Tambrahms, it is the ease and authority with which they will connect the dots of people’s identities. When I say yesteryear generation, I mean those who are now in the mid 60’s and above. This includes both mamas and mamis!

Somehow, the current generation to which I belong (Doordarshan generation ’nnu sollalaam), the Gen X (SW/IT/Computer generation nnu vechukongo) and the Gen Y (Mobile /WhatsApp generation) just cannot match the skill of the previous generation in recalling and placing people so accurately.

In marriages and get-togethers, these kind of conversations and the ensuing embarrassments are so very common:

Mama: Onnoda face familiar’a irukke. But pidi kadaikka mattengarathu! Ennatheriyumo?

You: Theriyaleye mama!

Mama: (Disappointedly) Theriyalaya! Intha kaalathu youngsters’s naale ippadi than! Onnum takkunnu nyabagathukku varathu illai!

You: (Happy that you have been called a youngster and at the same time irritated with the diatribe on youngsters) Neenga thaane sonnel, pidi kadaikka mattengarathunnu??

Mama: Nee entha ooru? Where are you basically from? Adha chollu.

You: Naan, Mankombu, mama!

Mama: (Gets a flash) Nee Mankombu Kichanoda paiyyan thaane?

You: Aamaamaam. Eppadi kandu pidichel?

Mama: Mankombu nnu chonna udaneye ennakku pidi kadachuduthu! Onga Thatha Mani Iyeroda moga chayalum, colourum appadiye irukke! Enna theriyaratho?

You: Illa mama.

Mama: Nammal ellam dayaathigal aakkum! Dayaathigal nna theriyumo? Namma appa side family la ethavathu saavu nadanthuthunna namakellam pelai undu.

You: Athu ippo ethukku mama? Enna relationnnu sollungo.

Mama: Ungappa kitta kelu. Kathai kathaiya cholluvaar. Naanga Mankombu vella pokkam samayathula boatula eppidi kalichundu iruppomnu!

You: Oh appidiya. Kekkaren. Neenga yaarunnu chollaliye.

Mama: Naan Sivan. Unga Kollu paataavoda, annavoda renda matha pullaiyoda paiyanakkum.

You: O.k, O.k puriyarathu.

Mama: Purinjutha? Appo chollu paakalaam. Naan yaaru?

You: Enga Kollu thaathovoda….. er…. er…

Mama: Innamum theriyalaiya? Unga appovoda cousinaakkum.

You: (mind voice) – Ippadi first’e simple’aa cholli irukalaame? 

Nice meeting mama. Appa kitta cholren.

Mama: Naan unnoda Chittappa vaakkum. Mama illai.

You: Sorry, Chittappa, appo paakalaam (Escape)

What is amazing is the way the entire family tree is entrenched in the brains of these mamas and mamis complete with name, place, father’s name, mother’s name, gothram, nakshatram,…,… Only Aadhaar number is missing apparently!

Mami: (To her daughter in a function) Antha brown colour varayan (checked) shirt yarunnu therinjutha?

Daughter:  Athu ippo recent’a kalyanam aache. Namma Thangam mami yoda, ponnoda maaplai.

Mami: Oh Avanaa?  Avaa familikkum namakkum neraya connection undu! Theriyumo?

Daughter: Theriyaathe!

Mami:  Thotta edathula ellam namakku connection thaan. Engaathu side leyum connection. Appa side leyum.

Daughter: Naan just family friendunnu thaane ninaichen!

Mami: Appa voda moonaamatha athai yoda pullai namma LIC Raman. Avaroda Chittappavoda ponnu thaan intha maapilaiyoda amma.

Atha thavira, en side la enga thathovoda anna Barrister Ratnam Iyeroda pulla thaan maapilaiyoda appa.

Daughter: Thalaya sutharathu.

Mami: Simple’aa solren.

Daughter: Ippo Vendamma, ela pottachu. Chaapda polaam!  (Escape)

While the average Tambrahm mama and mamis in that generation have this kind of recall capability, there are a few who outshine all of them simply by their brilliance of connecting the dots. These people will pull out connections from nowhere.  With their astounding memory and exceptionally sharp brains, they are most sought after in the family while stitching up marriage alliances.

Mama: Ponnukku Koduvayur lenthu varan vanthirukku. Avaa originally Koduvayur. Ippo Del-hi la irukka. Paiyyan Florida la Doctor. Nalla family madiri theriyara. Unakku theriyumo ivalai?

Sharp Mama: Koduvayur veettu perenna?

Mama: Mecheri Madam nnu chonna.

Sharp Mama: Mecheri madama? Theriyume. Paiyanoda appa Del-hi la Income Tax la retired Secretary thaane? Gopalakrishnan Iyer thaane peru?

Mama: Correct. Athe thaan. Unakku theriyuma?

Sharp Mama: Ennakku nanna theriyum avaalai. Gopalakrishnanoda wife ennoda wifekku relationaakkum. Ennoda wife oda periamma pon Seethalakshmi irukkaale, Bombayle? Avaloda naathanar aakkum intha Gopalakrishnanoda wife!

We (as Onlooker Mind voice): Eppadi ithu? Mama voda pere sollaleye? Just oor per thaane chollitthu? Palakkad, Koduvayur, Mecheri madam, Delhi nnu sonna udaneye, pattunnu family history, kulam, Gothram,…,…ellathayum eduthu vidaraare?

In my opinion, as an onlooker, the best shock and awe are reserved when two equally sharp yesteryear mamas or mamis meet and converse regarding placing someone:

Mama 1: Namma Simpson Shankaranarayananoda paiyannukku kalyaanam fix aayrirukku.

Mama 2: Oh, Very good. Aaaru ponnu?

Mama 1: Unakku therinjurukkum. Namma Palliparam Naanu irukkaane. Avanoda shaddaganoda thambiyoda ponnaam.

Mama 1: Antha Reliance’ la work panra shaddagannaa? Bala thaane?

Mama 2: Aamaamaam.

Mama 1: Bala voda thambi ennoda Brother in law kku sontham.

Mama 2: Appidiyaa? Enna relation?

Mama 1: Avan thambi  – Ramanathan vanthu ennoda Brother in law Sureshoda cousin.

Mama 2: Theriyume. Sureshoda mama Krishna Iyeroda pulla thaane. Ammanji nnu chollu.

Mama 1: Metal Box Krishna Iyer, ippo enga irukkaar?

Mama 2: Ippo Metal Box lenthu retire aayi, Nana Nani la vanthu settle aayaachu.

Mama 1: Nana Naniya? Entha phase?

Mama 2: Phase 2

Mama 1: Phase 2 vaa? Anga ennoda sister in law oda Anna ippo thaan veedu eduthirukaan., Peru Santhanam.

Mama 2: Namma Paatti Santhanam thaane? Intha Drama la ellam Paatti vesham poduvaare? Avarai nanna theriyum. Paatti Santhanathoda wife Sudha ennoda daughter in law kku doorathu sontham!

Now, this is how the conversation branches out from one family branch to another and goes either deep into the roots or goes upwards from branch to stem to leaves!

In fact, it is reliably learnt that the social network platform Geni, which works based on Family tree, hired few mamas and mamis for few months as consultants when they were in the US as part of their annual visits way back in the late 90’s. With that expertise they have been able to roll out a perfect family tree platform!

Also because of this ‘Connecting the Dots’ skill only, most of the mamis are able to put perfect kolams during margazhi and festival days nnu vera kelvi!! (Don’t kill me now)

There is a Tamil proverb – “Aachanukku peechan madhanikku udanbirandan” the meaning of which I have never understood it fully.  But have come to understand that it refers to some really distant relation! But for the yesteryear Tambrahms, even if it is Aachanukku peechan and madanikku udanbirandan, they will know exactly where and how to put it in the family tree and explain as well.

Neenga eppidi? Connecting the dots’ la?

What’s in a Tambrahm name? – Part 2

In my earlier piece “What’s in a Tambrahm name?” I had talked about how Tambrahms have a unique way of compressing long names and coming up with typical aathula koopadara pergal like – Vengidi for Venkatachalam, Naanu for Narayanan and so on. If you had missed that article, please read here.

This kind of naming and calling is usually aathukulla or within the extended family. But there is another unique way of naming and calling outside of the family as well.  This is what I am trying to explore here.

In the 50s to 70’s, most Tambrahms from Palakkad boarded the Jayanti Janata express and headed towards Mumbai or Kerala Express to Delhi for some Joli.  And when they arrived, they came equipped not with Engineering degrees as it is today, but with skills like typing, stenography, Accounting and above all English proficiency.  So, invariably most of the Indian companies those days had Tambrahms as typists, Stenographers, Secretaries, Executive assistants and Accountants. In fact, the domination of Tambrahms in this domain was so much that, it provoked the then Shiv Sena Chief Bal Thackeray to start a tirade against all mundu or as per him lungiwallah Madraasis!

It is usually said, “You are known by the company you keep!” In Tambrahm scheme of things, this is in fact literally true! That is, many times individuals are known and called by the company (organisation) they worked for. As we all know, in our previous generations, kids were always named after some Umaachi – Krishnan, Ganapathy, Raman, Sivan and so on. Since this naming convention was extensively used, in the Tambrahm circle there was always a surfeit of Krishnans, Ganapathys and the like. So, one way to differentiate each of them was to prefix the name with the name of the company they worked for.

So a Krishnan working in Batliboi will be Batliboi Krishnan!

One may think that Cadbury Sivan is a Sivan who loved Cadbury chocolates or a Raymonds Dorai loved wearing Raymond suits. Athu thaan kidayaathu!  Sivan working in Cadbury became Cadbury Sivan and a Dorai employed in Raymonds was known by Raymonds Dorai!

And then you had Godrej Mani, Kirloskar Parameswaran, Indian Oil Gopalakrishnan, Voltas Hari, Burmah Shell Janardhanan, Glaxo Balan, LIC Rajan, Remington Murthy, Brooke Bond Raghu, Metal Box Suri, Tata Ravi, Birla Krishnamurthy, Times of India Natarajan, Britannia Chandru, State Bank Padmanabhan, IOC Radhakrishnan, L&T Ramaswamy, Saibol Venu, IOB Kannan and so on! Even in address books, names will be written as TVS Vasudevan, Simpson Rajagopal, Bajaj Venkatraman and so on.

In functions, if someone had to be introduced it will invariably be with the company name suffix. So in a kalyanam one mama (IPCL Raghavan) was introducing another mama. “Ivar thaan Colgate Subbaraman!” For which Subbaraman quipped – “Naan ippo pension aayaachu. Athanaala verum Subbaraman nnu sollungo!” For which IPCL Raghavan responded, “Retired aana enna. Engalukku neenga ennikume Colgate Subbaraman thaan!”

This prefixing by company name became so ubiquitous that many mamas while talking on the phone had to introduce themselves such without which nobody could recognise them. Something like this in this telephone conversation:

Mama 1: Hello…..

Mama 2: Hello… aaru pesarathu?

Mama 1: Naan thaan Krishnaswamy pesaren.

Mama 2: Krishnaswamya? Entha Krishnaswamy?

Mama 1: Adhaan, FIAT Krishnaswamy!

Mama 2: FIAT Krishnaswamya? Chollungo. Chollungo, Sowkiyama?

Most ushaar mamas will introduce themselves with the company name in the 1^st place!

“Hello!

Naan Subbu!

 Enfield Subbu!”

In fact, I heard that Rajnikant’s dialogue of “Mala da, Anna Mala” in the film Annamalai was inspired by this Tambrahm naming scheme! The film’s Director Suresh Krishna is a Tambrahm brought up in Bombay, aache!

Solla pona, “My name is Bond. James Bond!” dialogue was exported by Tambrahms only😀

At times, the company connection to the name of the mamas extended to mamis also. As per that, I know of some mamis who were called as Saibol Sarojam and Kirloskar Kamala etc.

Apart from easy identification, there is one another periya advantage of linking the name with company. Antha company product ethavathu vaangum pothu, discount venumna correcta concerned mama va contact pannalaam! I recall one Godrej mama was everyone’s go to person for getting Godrej fridge and cupboard at whole sale prices!

While in Mumbai, most of the Tambrahms worked in private companies, in Delhi, it was mostly Central government departments. There was a time till 80’s when the entire Delhi bureaucracy was ruled by Tambrahms all the way up to the level of Secretary in ministries. Fortunately this naming convention was not adopted there, I think. Otherwise, we would have had Finance Ramachandran, Education Ramamurthy and so on!!! Health Balachandran and Agriculture Raman… would have been hilarious! But in Delhi, Tambrahms working in Public Sector Undertakings were promptly called by the company they worked for. SAIL Krishnamurthy is well known!

In Delhi, many mamas were also working with Newspapers . Hindu la work pannindu iruntha Vaithi  used to be known as Hindu Vaithi. When he got married and soon put on some weight, Hindu Vaithi soon became Gundu Vaithi 😀

I may be wrong here but, I didn’t notice this naming convention being adopted by other communities like Maharashtrians or Telugu. I have never come across a Bombay Dyeing Milind or a BARC Yashwant or for that matter a CEAT Balakrishna!

This tradition of prefixing with company names died a natural death post 90’s. Blame it on liberalisation and reforms for this also! Unlike that generation, sticking to one company throughout their career became passe for the post 90’s generation and this naming convention also died.  However, I am just wondering if the same had continued now also, some of the names will make us roll in the floor and laugh!

Makemytrip Rohit

Amazon Ashwin

Future Shashank

Ola Vinod

And so on!

Postscript: The spark for this piece germinated from a conversation I had with my friend Prognosys Sudharshan – so duly thanking him here.

My Close encounters with Mamas – Part 2

Some time back, I wrote a piece on different types of Tambrahm Mamas we encounter in our lives. This piece is in continuation of the same. To get the right context, I suggest you to read Part 1 (link here) in case you haven’t before. Even if you have read that before, please read now to get a recap!

So, in continuation to the mama types described in that piece, here are some more!

Detail oriented Mamas: I would say most Tambrahm mamas fall in this category. In general, as a tribe we like to give a lot of details even when it is not called for. For example:

Person 1: Enna Saar, Walking innikku evalavu rounds?

Anybody else would just probably give an answer like – “10 rounds” or “5 rounds Saar” and end the matter. But a Tambrahm mama would most probably answer like this:

Mama: Intha Garden la, outside circle is 1 Km and I usually do 5 rounds of that. Inside circle is 500m. And I do 10 rounds of that. So if you go by outside circle it is 5+5= 10 rounds. And if you go by inside circle, it is 10+10 =20 rounds!! Purinjutha kanakku?

Person 1 (Mind voice): Summa oru pechukku ketta, maths classe edukaraare, intha mama?

Dimension Mamas: There are mamas who simply like to talk based on dimensions. Sample this:

A mama is going to see a house for renting along with a broker.

Mama: Veedu enna area?

Broker: 900 Sq ft Saar

Mama: Carpet area va, Built up pa?

Broker: Built up Saar

Mama: Built up a, Super built up a?  Carpet area evalavu –600 aavathu irukuma?

Broker: Athu theriyaathu Saar, owner kitta thaan kekkanum

Mama: Bed room enna size? 10*12 aa?

Broker: Exacta theriyala Saar.

Mama: 10*12 thaan. Paathale theriyarathe!

Broker: Mind voice (Theriyuthu la, appo yen saar kekkareenga?)

Mama: Ceiling evalavu height irukkum? 8 ft aa?

Broker: Irukkum Saar oru 8 feet. Next time naan oru tape oda varren Saar!

Mama:  Water supply eppadi?

Broker: 24 hours Saar!

Mama: Bore Well thanniya illa, Drinking watera?

Broker: Rendum varum Saar! Correcta Owner kitta thaan kekkanum.

Mama: Currentu?

Broker: Athuvum 24 hours Saar.

Mama: 24 Hours sari, single phase supplya illa double phasea??

Broker: Saar enna aala vidunga. Naan ownera vara solren. Avar kittaye neenga pesikunga!

Mama: Broker na ithellam therinju vechukka vendaama? Product oda ella detailsum tipsla irukkanum pa! Naan antha kaalathula Kirloskar company la generator marketing departmentla steno va irunthen. Generatoroda specifications ellam enakku innaikkum athuppadi theriyumo?

Cynical/Suspicious Mamas: These mamas are 24*7 paranoid about something or other.  They smell conspiracy theory in anything and everything out of obsessive suspicion and mistrust. Like this:

EVM romba safe appadi ippadi nnu solraale, appo yen intha Japan, Belgium, France, Netherlands, Germany la ellam EVM mma discontinue panni ippo paper ballots thaan use panraalaame?

Or

Aammaam, nethikku intha Afghanistan kooda thokka vendiya match la kadasila India Jeyichuthe? Match fixing aa irukumo? Enna anaalum, Afghanistan payalgalukku IPL contract venume?

Time oriented Mamas: These mamas are always particular about time in whatever they do.  When they speak, it is usually like this:

Naan 7.25 kku dinnera mudichuduven. Apparam oru 5 mins rest eduppen. Apparam oru 25 mins garden la nadanthuttu varuven. 8.00 lenthu 10 varaikum serial! 10.05 kku taannu thoongiduven…  I maintain my daily routine perfectly.

Or

Naan every day – 12 mins walking poven. 15 mins pranaayam pannuven….

 WhatsApp Mama: For this mama, WhatsApp is everything.  Mostly retired, his most part of the day goes in checking messages and forwards in WhatsApp! His worldview and opinions are formed based on what is seen on WhatsApp that morning!

Ungalukku theriyumo theriyaatho, Taj Mahal iruntha edathula oru sivan kovil irunthuthaam. Innikku WhatsApp la vanthurukku. Pinnu pinnu nu pinni eduthirukkaan!

Or

Intha kaalathula video conferencing patthi perisaa pesindu irukka! Mahabharatam time leye, video conferencing irunthurukku! WhatsApp la proof oda potturukkaan. Naan forward panren. Paarungo!

Nit picking/Fault finding Mamas: These mamas get some kind of pleasure in finding fault with everything around them. It could be in their own house, apartment complex, town, city, country and so on.

Swachh Bharat ellam photovoda sari! Road ellam kuppaiya thaan irukku!

Uppuma nkarathugaaga ivalavu uppu poduvaalo?

Enna violinist “Thodiya” ippadi thottum thodaamalum vaasikaraar?

Attention seeking/Jovial mamas: These mamas are usually the centre of attraction in any gathering. They usually regale people around them with stories, jokes and quotable quotes.  Something like this:

Antha kaalathula ellam boys graduate a iruntha porum- IIM assuredu – “Indian Institute of Marriage” a sonnen! Ippo ellam namma community la pasanga jaasthi. Girls kammi. Athanaala paiyan IIT  aana kooda – IIM la admission kashtam! Enna naan cholrathu?

Naan china vayasula violin kathunden. Ippo nalla use aagarathu. Ippo wifeukku aathula second fiddle vaasichundu irukken!

Do you know what the definition of a good diplomat is? – One who has learnt to remain silent in six languages!!!

And so on!

There could be more. Please do add to the list in the comments section with anecdotes of the mama type!

Enna Vishesham?

In the hallowed lexicon of Tambrahms, the word “Vishesham” romba visheshamaakkum. Means very special.  It has very different meanings and interpretations depending on the context it is used. In English, they call this as “homographs”. As Tambrahms, we know and understand Homams better!  Intha homograph, homonymns ellam thalaikku mele pora samaachaarangal aakkum!

Coming back to the point of “Vishesham”, at the basic level, Vishesham means “special”? So if you see something special/different in a place and don’t know the reason, it is normal for one to ask:

Mama 1: Enna mama, innikku enna payasam ellam. Aathula enna vishesham?

Mama 2: Onnum illai! Ennoda payyanoda star birthday. Athu thaan vishesham innikku.

But beyond the basic level, it acquires different meanings depending upon the context and situation. For example:

Mama 1: Enna mama, paathu romba naal aachu. Aathula visheshama onnum illiye?

Mama 2: Enna vishesham? Paiyan Americavila thaan settle aavennu otha kalula nikkaraan. Vendaamda. Intha Trump naraya problems undaakindu irukkaannu chonna, aaru kekkara? Ippo Indiavila illaatha opportunitiesaa?

This is when you meet someone after a long while and get into basic enquiries about the family and checking in on them. Going further:

Mama 1: Apparam vera enna vishesham?

Mama 2: Ponnoda Jaathakam eduthaachu. Nalla varan ethaavathu iruntha chollungo.

Mama 1: Locala paakarela, Veliyoora? Localna konjam kashtam thaan swami. Athukku thaan ketten!

Here Vishesham means other happenings and news!

When a mama lands in Kerala and want to brush up his malayalam, he launches into something like this:

Mama 1: Enthondu vishesham?  (This is like – What’s happening? )

Mama 2: Yei! Ivadai Visheshamaaiyittu onnum illa!  (Nothing special here! )

At times, Vishesham is also used to refer festivals. Like this:

Mama 2: Ippo enge intha pakkam?

Mama 1: August maasathula thaan neraya vishesham unde. Rakshabandan lenthu aarambichu neraya leavu.

Going further, Vishesham gets more interesting.

Mama 1: Aathula mamikku visheshama onnum illiye? Paathu romba naalaachu.

Mama 2: Enna, intha pressure, sugar complaint thaan. Matha badi onnum problem illai!

Mama 1: Kaalukku onnum visheshama illiye?

Here Vishesham is used in the context of health and well-being! Aathula mami soukiyam thaane types!

Now in the 1st question, if you replace mami with daughter in law, then the word Vishesham takes a totally different meaning!  And intha vishesham is very popular and widely used.

Mami 1: Paiyannukku kalyanam aagi oru moonu varusham irukkuma? Maattu ponnukku visheshama onnum illiya?

Mami 2: Onnum illai. Intha kaalathu pasangal. Ennatha kekarathu? Ketta, “Give us time. We want to enjoy our space” nnu cholluva. Ellam kaala kaalathula nadantha thaane sari pattu varum! Pogaatha kovil illai. Pannaatha nerchai illai!

As most of you know this very well, in this context, Vishesham is about pregnancy of their wards. Which is a perennial stress point these days with Tambrahm parents!

We are still not done with exploring the various dimensions of this Vishesham. Continuing the conversation….

Mami 1: Onnum kavala padaatheengo. Engaathuleyum en payanukkum appadi thaan aachu. Apparam, Ambalapozha Krishnan kovilukku poyittu vanthom. Oru maasathukku paal payasam nerchai.  Oru varushatula kozhanthai poranthuduthu!  Ambalapozhai ithukku visheshamaakkum!

Mami 2: Ambalapuzhaiya? Ippo thaan kelvi padaren! Sari, Angeyum poyittu varrom!

Now, here Vishesham stands for “renowned” or “known for”!

Further…

Mami 1: Ithula enna visheshamna…. Naangal nerchai mudicha pathaavathu maasathula kozhanthai taannu poranthuduthu! Balakrishnannu pera vechuttom!

Here, Vishesham takes the meaning of “Interesting”!

So, as I mentioned in the beginning, the word Vishesham romba Visheshamaakkum!

Like this, I am not sure if there is any other Visheshamaana word in Tambrahm dictionary.  Konjam visheshama think panni, chollungo.  Athayum konjam visheshama research panni blog ezhuthiyudalaam!

America poyirunthappo….!

These days on a flight from any of the South Indian city to the US, you cannot miss the ubiquitous Tambrahm mamas and mamis on their way to their sons’/daughters abodes in the US. For some it could be the 1^st trip to the US. For others, it could be the 2^nd /3^rd /nth visit!

Usually I have noticed that Tambrahms follow a hate-love-hate cycle with the US. Let me explain. Before they usually get a chance to visit the States (their kids must be still in school/ or in Engineering), their general attitude towards United States is coated in hate and distrust of the US and goes something like this:

“Aaru Americakku ellaam povaa? It’s a capitalist country and everything is about money there. Oru culture undaa? Or Kaarthigai undaa? Namma manusha ellaam America, America nnu odindu irukka! Anga enna thaan irukko appadi!

Inga namma manusha kooda irunthundu kovil, kolam, bajanai, Sasthapreeti, Saapaadu nnu irukara maadiri irukumaa anga? 

Ethaavathu onnu kidakka aayiduthunna inga thane vanthu aaganum?

Aaru 16 mani neram flightla okkanthundu porathu? Enakku inga 2 manikooru flightla pogarathukulla praanam poyidarathu!”

And so on!

Then in a few years, invariably their son/daughter who finished Engineering manage to get MS admission and then in a few years also get a job in the US. Marriage follows. And the mama/mami get a chance to visit the US. During their stay their hate turns into love for America! On their return after few months of stay, when they meet their counterpart mamas and mamis in some kalyanam-kacheri, invariably they regale a lot about their US trip! Something like this:

“16 mani neram ponathe theriyalai! Paiyyan business class la ticket pottu kuduthuttaan! Sleeper berth la pora maadiri sugama irunthuthu!

The other mama who was not fortunate to travel in Biz class joins – “Naan economy la ponnen. Time ponathe theriyalai aana. Pazhaya tamil, malayala padamellam paathu mudichutten!”

And more:

“Evalo neatta irukku theriyumo? Park la walking porache porava ellam ethara bavyama Good Morning uncle/ Good Morning aunty nnu cholra theriyumo? Naanga rendu perume thaniya parkukku walking poyittu varuvom. Bayapadathukku onnum kidayathu! Inga, 6 mani aachunna thaaliya moodindu poga vendi irukku! Ippadi car varum, appadi motor cycle varum nnu paarukave vendaam. Namma baatukku theme nnu walking pannikalaam! 4 maasathila oru 10 kilo weight koranjuthu! Mama oru 6 kilo korachaar. Just walking panni!

Super markettukku pona, ellam kidaikkum.  Vegetables, Fruits ellam ethara fresha irukku theriyumo? Ellam organic vera! Marunthu Kirunthu adichiruppa nnu kavalaye pada vendaam!

Anga iruntha 4 maasathila, naan diabetes patthi kavalaye padalaiye! Mama kkum pressure ellam koranju fitness koodiduthu! Ippo inga vanthapuram rendu perukkum thiruppi thodangi yaachu irumalum, thummalum! Enna pollution inga!

Inga kadaikaratha vida namma items ellam ethara nalla quality theriyumo? Nilgiris nnu oru kadai irukku. Anga pona, kadaikatha namma saadanam kidaiyaathu!

Namma filter Kaapi maadiriye – Starbucks la pona – Café Mishto appadinnu kadaikarathu! Pinna enna venam?

Ivalavu varushama Palakkadla irukkom. Kacheri ellam TV la paathathoda seri! Anga Cleveland festivalla Sanjay Subramaniathilenthu Sanjay Narayan varaikum oru kacheri vidalai!

Ade maadiri Crazy Mohan drama paathuttu, back stage la poi avan kitta pesi, selfie ellam eduthundom! Neenga paathirupele! Mama FB la pottaare! Illane chollungo, Whatsup la anuparen!

A guy in the US usually would have visited the Niagara Falls a minimum of 4 times.

1^st – when he goes with his friends for the 1^st time as a bachelor!

2^nd when he gets married and takes his wife who has joined from India!

3^rd when his parents come to visit him usually during his wife’s 1^st delivery (Athu ennamo theriyala, US la delivery na, paiyyannoda appa/amma normala US pova – to support the daughter in law during delivery!)

4^th when his in laws come to visit – probably during his wife’s 2^nd delivery!

So, the thing is usually the visit of the parents to the US in the first few times coincide with the “Delivery” cycles of the sons/daughters.

After this 2/3 visits to the US, for the mama/mami – the love for the US slowly starts morphing into hate again!

“Naanga paiyyan kitta cleara cholliyaachu. Inime ellam anga vanthu 3 maasam, 4 maasam nnu vanthu irukka mudiyaathu engalaala. Neenga venna engala paaka inga varushathukku oru vaatti vanthu poyindu irungo.

16 mani naram flightla aaru okkandundu porathu! Kai kaal ellam kodaiya aaramchudarathu! Appo appo toilettukkum poga vendi irukku! Thirumbi vanthapparam oru vaarathukku thookame varathu illa.

Anga engalakuu time pass aagarathu illai. Paiyyanum Maatu ponnum velaikku poyidara. Peran/Pethi schoolnnu avaa busy. Sani/Nyayar vanthaachunna paatu class, dance class, Costco shopping nnu busya avaalukku poyidarathu! Namakku time passe aaga maatengarathu! Ethara neram thaan intha TV kku minnadi okkaanthundu irukarathu? Inga yaana aaravathu manusha vanthundum poyindum iruppa.

Anga poi namma paduthundutomna avaalukku thaan problem.

Enna aanaalum namma naadu maadiri varaathu! Intha Trump etho kirukkan maadiri vela pannindu irukkaan.

Visa vera expire aayiduthu. Siva Siva nnu irukka vendiya kaalathula, aaru Visa Visa pinnala pogarathu?

Naanum paiyyan kitta chollitten. Inga vanthu ethavathu Wipro leyo, TCS leyo velaya paathundu vanthudunnu! Of course we don’t want to compel them. It is their decision!”

So the hate-love-hate cycle continues. Neenga intha cycle la enga irukkel?

Enga Ponaalum Idli, Dosai!

First a disclaimer. This post may not resonate so well with the current generation or those who were born and brought up in the Post liberalisation India (post 1991). But those in the pre-lib era can relate well to this. Or so I hope.

It is a known fact that for Tambrahms, food is an important ingredient of life. But that doesn’t mean that we as Tambrahms are fine and excited about all types of food. We are biased towards namma type chaapaadu for sure. Any day, we will prefer our Saambaar, Molagoottal, Idli, Dosai,.. over any other exotic regional or international menu. If one does a microscopic research of our DNA strands, mostly instead of X chromosomes and Y chromosomes, there will be I chromosomes or D Chromosomes and so on I think, where I stands for Idli and D for Dosai respectively!

At home, 7 days of the week, 52 weeks of the year or in short every day, we are fine with eating our type of food. For breakfast, evening tiffin and night palahaaram we are O.K. with having Idli and Dosai alternatively. What is important though, (as I outlined in one of my earlier posts –Thottukka Enna? ) is we are more concerned about what goes with it. As long as there is variety in thottukarathu, nambalukku double O.K.!

While this characteristic can be classified as normal (i.e. eating their own type food while at home) even for non Tambrahms, what is special for Tambrahms is that we prefer eating our type even when we go out!

Unlike these days where eating out is very common, those days when we were growing up, eating out was very rare! At Tambrahm households eating out was when the mami at home was veliyila that too when mama couldn’t cook for some reason (usually as we know, most Tambrahm mamas are adept at cooking and therefore walk the talk). Even here, mostly it is “one dozen idly or few dosais parcel” instead of eating in the restaurant!  Another opportunity to eat out was when we were on some temple visit like – Kumbakonam, Guruvayur and so on!  In those places anyway you wouldn’t get anything apart from Idli, Dosai and meals! If not for these opportunities, then it will be when we were travelling to our “native place” in Kerala during summer vacation or for some aathu visesham usually in trains! As the train reached Olavakot junction (these days Palakkad junction), it was time for morning coffee and breakfast which again will be usually Idli and probably Vadai. “Dosai chooda illaatti nenja pidikkum, Idliye adikalaam! would be the elder’s advice!  Some of the co-passengers can be seen buying Vellaappam which usually entices you as kids as well. “Yei,… antha vellaappathila Kallu (alcohol) pottaakkum ferment pannuva, Athellam vendaam. Nee intha Idli thinna porayaa illaya?” used to be the usual refrain!

These days of course the opportunities for eating out are far too many. Any day, any time we eat out! But even today, Tambrahms are very comfortable eating our type of food by and large!

When we go out to eat say during weekends, while this generation kids break their heads to order what they want, for us it just takes a few seconds. Because our order will invariably be – First oru plate Idli Sambar, pinnaala Rava Dosai (or some variant of the same) and then Filter coffee!

Even in marriages and functions where it is common to have a buffet with all varieties of food like Chinese, Chaat counter, Punjabi items and so on, in a Tambrahm visesham, most Tambrahms can be seen crowding the “Dosa counter” and later filling up the plate with Thayir saadam, pickle and mor molaga if available. You can often hear lines like “Namakku intha chaattum bootum ellam sari pattu varaathu. Namma intha dosaiya thingarom! Thayirum Chaadam, ooruga irukko illiyo? Athu porum!”

We all know that these days, mamas and mamis travel abroad frequently and widely. Even when in Bay area in the weekend it will be like – “Namma intha Tirupati Bheemas intha vaaram try pannalaam. Pona vaaram Saravana Bhavan try panniyache!” and for what – eating Idli, Dosai!

Even within India when we go on holidays say to North India, after one day of Naan, Roti, Aloo gobi,.. our stomachs start craving for South Indian food! “Inga pakathula engayavathu Uduppi restaurant ethavathu irukka paaru” will be the refrain, even if food is part of the package! And if that’s not to be found, the conversation on return will go like this:

You: “Enna Mama, Mussorie holiday ellam eppidi irunthathu?”

Mama: “It was o.k. Oru South Indian hotelum illai! 4 naalaiku eppadi intha Naan, roti, paneer chaaptundu kazhikarathu?”

And I know of those who take up foreign vacations only after confirming presence of Saravana Bhavan or Woodlands in the city on the internet!

Mama: “Namakku intha roti, masalaave othukaathu. Ithula Breadayum, cheesaiyum nambi eppidi holidaykku porathu. Malaysiakku poi thindaadinathu ennakku thaane theriyum!”

You: “Malaysia la thamizhaa naraya irukkaale? Namma food kadaikalaya?”

Mama: “Nee vere! Ore Non Veg. Thedi thedi oru Annalakshmi hotela kandu pidichappo thaan Aaswasam vanthuthu!”

If it’s a remote city in China or Japan,.. where Google Guru doesn’t help with a South Indian restaurant, you can be sure that a Tambrahm will equip himself or herself with packets of MTR Upma mix lenthu Puliyodarai mix and what not! Though, here I must add that this is a major compromise because while at home he will not touch a MTR readymade mix with a barge pole! As per our Nanu mama’s 6^th law of cooking, “Vayithu samaachaarathula, rigidda irukapadathu. For every genuine chaapadu item, there is a close equivalent item in terms of taste!”

For Tambrahms who are tech friendly these days, even on Apps like Swiggy,.. the most searched food type will be “South Indian food” and most ordered will “Idli. Dosai,…”

For Tambrahm mothers, feeding their sons/daughters isn’t a big problem. Because “Avanukku oru Dosaiya nanna ennai ya vittu murugala vaathu kuduthuttaana, avan baatukku chapatuduvaan!”

 “Avana? – Avan Veetula Raman, Veliyile Krishnan” is a popular line used to explain the character of a man. But as far as eating habits are concerned, for Tambrahms it is always “Veetileyum Idli/Dosai, Veliyileyum Idli/Dosai!”

An Idli a Day!

30^th March, we are told is being celebrated as “World Idli Day”! Meaning, for the world, 30^th March is Idli Day! For South Indians in general and Tambrahms in particular though, every day is Idli Day you see! As Nanu mama said, “Ithellam marketing gimmick! Valentine’s Day, Women’s Day, Mother’s Day madiri! Namakku every day is Idli Day!” And he is probably right. “The” Idli is intertwined so much in the life and IDentity of a Tambrahm!

 A day in the life of a Tambrahm is not complete without a brush with Idli! Usually the day starts with Idli as the breakfast.  Not only that, apart from having Idli for breakfast, I know of households who have again slight variants of the Idli for evening along with Kaapi and then for dinner as palahaaaram.

“Idli steamed o illiyo with no much oil,… Athanaala romba safe!” is the usual refrain which we can hear from Tambrahms who pour scorn on North Indians having oily paranthas for breakfast. “Eppadi thaan kaalan kaarthala ippadi oily itemsaa thingaraalo?? Namakku Idli thaan sari. Vayathukku onnum pannaathu”!

While Idli itself is a plain simple item made of rice, what makes it special is, what it is consumed with.  Tambrahm mamas who usually fuss around too much about food and the lack of variety every day, are more charitable as far as Idli is concerned. As long as Idli is served with different items to go with.

At a basic level, the day when the mami is in no mood to entertain the mama and kids so much, Idli is made and will be eaten with the already made Molaga Podi mixed with nalla ennai aka Gingelli oil! And the nalla ennai is poured over the Idli as well to taste!

At a next level, Idli is taken with Chutney. Here the options are many, starting with white Coconut Chutney, Tomato/Onion Chutney, Green Chutney,..,…

On a particular day, if the mami decides to finish the cooking in the morning early, then one can have the baakiyam of having Idli for breakfast with Sambhar which can be then used for lunch as well with rice!  Idli with Chutney “and” Sambhar is usually the combination for Naallum, Kizhamaiyum!

At many Tambrahm households I know of, Sundays are usually Idli with Chinna vengaaya Sambhar.  I have heard that mamas feel like going to sorgam and coming back when they get an opportunity to eat hot Idlis with hot Chinna vengaaya Sambhar served with dollops of ghee.

Now, here’s the thing as a matter of critical detail. If you eat the Idli dipped in Sambhar served separately in a kinnam, it is Idli Sambhar. But, if you take a bowl of Sambhar and soak the Idli in it and eat, it becomes Sambhar Idli!  Usually left over Idlis of the morning along with left over Sambhar of afternoon – becomes tasty Sambhar Idlis for evening tiffin!

When you see somebody pouring Sambhar over Idli, one gets a doubt if Idlikku thottukka Sambhar aa illa Sambharukku thotukka Idliyaannu!!  And one cannot miss sharp mamas’ quips like, “Paiyyan sambharla paatthiya kattaratha paatha, engineera thaan varuvaannu thonrathu!”

Before the IRCTC era, train journeys or road trips (read as temple visits) were never complete with Idlis being part and parcel of the trips literally, I mean. A separate koodai accompanied these trips with eco-friendly disposable packets of Idlis. And here’s the twist. To save time and the mess of eating Idlis with Chutneys or Sambhar (which may get spoiled in the heat) while on travel, Idlis are usually packed with Molaga podi and ennai already applied on them. So white Idlis become slightly Orangish in colour with liberal dose of nalla ennai. “Konjam ennaiya dhaaralama vittukko, nenja pidikkaama irukanum!” This Idli with pre-mixed Molaga podi becomes “Podi Idli”! Have you ever tried having a sip of hot, filter coffee right after eating this Podi Idli, with the taste of Idli mixed with the Molaga podi still lingering on the tongue?? If not, please try that tomorrow!

“Idli, malli poo madiri irukku!” can be the ultimate compliment which is when the Idli is soft, pure white in colour and has a nice aroma around it!” However ask any mami and she would say, “Aamaam, kudikarathu ennamo Aquaguard thanni. Aana Idli mattum  malli poo madiri irukanum!!!”

Coming to Tambrahm obsession with the Idli, though we eat Idlis probably 365 days of an year at home, when we go out to eat at restaurants,…, the 1^st choice of most mamas is most likely to be “Oru plate Idli Sambhar”!

In Tambrahm households, it is also common for parents to serve Idlis with Thayir and Chakkarai mixed for kids. “Thayir vayathukku nallathu. Eriyaama irukkum!” Our elders were abreast of all this probiotic stuff even then! But what usually starts as a childhood habit continues even after growing up.

Even Doctor mamas have a special affinity for Idlis. Usually, when we used to go to our neighbourhood family doctor for common ailments like fever, stomach upset,..,… the doctor usually advised, “Usual pre-cautions and “Idli madiri safe food da saapadalaam”!

In order to cater to the daily intake of Idlis at home those days, mamis usually arachufied maavu every alternate day even during the pre-grinder days!  In grinder days, more than the effort involved in aruchufying, the effort in cleaning up the grinder after the act was more taxing! Ithukku okkaandhundu araikarathe thevala! But today for the young generation, ready-made, Off the shelf maavu has come as a god sent relief. Only thing is, with the ready-made maavu one cannot be cock sure of the output!  Leading to jibes like this:

Mami:  “Innikku enna aachunnu theriyala! Konjam Idli flataa vanthuduthu!”

Guest Mama: “Idli saaptu naanga flataa aagaama iruntha sari!”

So, with the Idli even small travesties are not tolerated, you see!

The other bigger travesty of the Idli, is the invention of different varieties of Idlis in the name of fast food! From Idli Manchurian to Chinese Idli to Masala Idli to Hara bara Idli, …,… have all mushroomed much to the dismay of the Idli connoisseurs! For them, Idli is only one. Which is simple, steamed and safe! So for them, it’s not “Idli Day” but at least “an Idli a day”!!!