Deepavali vanthaachu!

Much has been written about how Deepavali was observed and celebrated in Tambrahm households a few decades ago. For Mamas and Mamis in their 40’s and above, nostalgia overflows when any discussion happens around this topic. “Antha Kaalathila naanga eppadi Deepavali ellaruma chernthu kondaaduvom theriyumo?” nnu Mamas break into Ragam, Thanam, Pallavi etc, etc on this very popular topic!

Like

– how 1 month before, the entire family will go for buying pudhu thuni for Deepavali

– how Kaadar master will paduthufy by not giving the stitched clothes till the Deepavali eve

– how the Mami at home will systematically start preparing the Deepavali batchanams 3 / 4 days before

– how the Mama and sons will go shopping for Deepavali pattaasu in the last night before Deepavali to get a good bargain

– how the entire family will get up as early as 3’0 clock on Deepavali day

– how there would be a fierce competition between neighbourhood kids on who fired the 1st pattaasu and who fires more pattaasu and whose house has got more pattaasu kuppai!

– on the entire family taking oil bath with hot water from an appliance called “boiler” one by one!

– how the Mama will hand over the new clothes after bath to the kids one by one from Swamy ullu

– on how one avoids batchanam from some Mamis houses and gorge on few others based on reputation of quality and taste from previous years

– On ordering the ‘Ananda Vikatan – Deepavali Malar’ and reading the same till the next DeepavalI! and so on!

So let me dwell into the Deepavali (or is it Diwali these days?) at the house holds of young Tambrahm Mamas and Mamis who are in their 30’s and 40’s empowered and liberated by the IT revolution in the last 2 decades!

Diwali fever these days sets in just about 3 or 4 days before the D-Day! And conversations in households go something like this:

Mami: “Innum 3 / 4 naal thaan irukku, Diwali kku! Shopping ellam panna vendaama??”

Mama: “Independence Day sale la vaangina oru pudhu shirt onnu, rendu irukku. Namma Bala kalyanathukku kadacha veshti irukku, poraatha? Ennoda Diwali shopping aachu!”

Mami: “Ungalakku enna! Pudhu thuni ellam pooti, pooti venchundu iruppel. Anyway I will order today in Myntra. 2 days la vanthurum! Rohitukku mattum oru dress innikki poi vaangidalaam. What about batchanam?”

Mama: “Pona varusham, intha Rajamani caterer kitta order panninathu onnum sariye illa! So this year, let us look at other options. Ramani mama kitta order pannidalaama? Enna Sweet order pannattum?

Mami: “You decide!”

Mama: “Baadusha?”

Mami: “Eppa paaru oru Baadusha! Itha vitta vera sweete kadayaatha? Naanum namma marriage aanathu lenthu paakaren!”

Mama: “Baadusha engaathu aasthana sweetu! Athu illaama Diwaliye kadayaathu engathula!”

Mami: “Lets order Jaangiri and Laddu. Apparam naan aathula sasthirathukku Thengai barfi pannaren!”

Mama: “Intha varushamum Thenga Barfiyaa???”

Mami: “Last 4 / 5 years atha panni oru madiri perfect aayuiduthu! So I will make the same!”

Mama: (Manasukkulla) “I thought you asked me to decide???” “O.K, athu kooda murukku and kaara sev order pannidaren!”

Mami: “No, no, order mixture and ribbon pakoda. Engaathula athu must for Diwali!!”

Mama: (Manasukulla) “Ithu mattum ellaa varshamum o.k vaa??? Intha ulagathula ellaa wivesum book ezhuthinaa, they can all use the same title as Raghuram Rajan’s book – I do What I do!!!”

Mami: “You said something?”

Mama: “Illiye!” (Manasukkulla) “Eppadi thaan manasukkulla sollikarathu kooda intha ladies kku kekaratho???”

And the Diwali day comes.

After getting up earlier than usual at 6.30 AM, the first half an hour or so goes in selecting some new GIF for Diwali greeting and broadcasting among the myriad WhatsApp groups, the Mama is part of.

Mami: “Diwali athuvuma kaalankaarthala oru phonoda okkanthaacha?? Why don’t you wake up Rohit, get him ready and you also take bath?”

Mama: “Itho vanthutten! Elllarum WA la wish pannindu irukka. Nee kulichuttaya?

Mami: “I am going for bath now. Enga antha nethikku vaangindu vantha arappu podi? Engamma specifica sonna atha thalaila pottu kulikka!”

Mama: “Athu Arappu podi illa. Seeyakkai podi!” Arappu podi paathirathukku podarathu!”

Mami: “Yetho oru podi! By the time I come back from bath, just get Rohit ready! Papera vechundu okaandhudaathel!”

Mama: “You first take bath and come! Diwaliye mudinjudum polarukku!”

After some time, the Mama, Mami and the kid all take bath and get ready.

Mami: “Did you taste my Thengai Barfi yesterday? Antha table mela vechuirunthene? You didn’t say anything?”

Mama: “No. Naan taste pannala!”

Mami: “Ungamma panni vechuruntha, intha samayathukku oru 5 piece ulla poyirukkum!”

Mama: “O.K, O.K. Let me taste this.”

Mami: “Wait, wait. Don’t take this full piece. Taste this odanja piece. Nalla shapela vantha piece ellam vachu, I have to take a pic and post it on FB and on WhatsApp. You also post in your friends groups. Your friends should not think that you have got an “Obi” wife! Make sure you mention ‘Home made” o.k??”

For a Mama if there are 2 questions which he would like to avoid at all costs in life, they are

1. “Naan intha dress la eppadi irukken? Do I look fat?”

2. “Eppadi irukku taste? Nanna vanthurukka?”

So usually for both these questions, Mamas give standard replies and you know what they are!!! Mama: “Thenga barfi super!” (Manasukkulla) “Thenga Barfi nna konjam sweet thookala irukkanum.

Ippadi blanda panninaa yaaru saapiduvaa? Engamma pannuvaa paaru. Thenga Barfikku ISI Standard athu thaan!

Mami: “Aanaalum ungamma panra madiri irukaathe???”

Mama: “No, No. This time it is really come out well! O.K, Let us get ready and go to your parents’ house. Anga thaane saapadu?

Mami: We will leave exactly at 12.00. That Myntra fellow said he will deliver the dress at 11.00. Intha meantime, take Rohit down and sasthrathukku oru mathaappu koluthittu vanthudungo!

Mama: “I bought some pattaasu yesterday. Athayum koluthittu varom!”

Mami: “Why did you buy pattaasu and all? Already there is so much pollution in the air. Chumma Sasthrathukku kambi mathaappu mattum porum. Rohit school la kooda stricta cholli irukka. No crackers nnu. Antha vediyellathaiyum, security kitta kuduthudungo!”

Mama: (Manasukkulla) “Security vedicha pollution aagaatha?” And finally as they got ready to leave,

Mami: “Eppadi irukku intha dress? Am I looking fat???”

Mama follows the SOP prescribed for the situation and mouths the right lines!

Mami: Oru photo edungo paakalaam. And send to me. DP update pannanum!

And as they stepped out of the flat, Pakkathu flat Mama:

“Enna Saar, Ganga Snanam ellam aacha? Happy Diwali!” Mama: “Tanker water Snanam thaan aachu!

Happy Deepavali!”

Engaathu Golu!

In South India, Navarathri is observed with much fervour to celebrate the victory of good over evil (for that matter most festivals) – in this case Goddess Durga’s victory over Mahishasura. May be because of this, Navarathri is closely associated with the ladies at home. 9 days of action when the Mamis and ponna porandavaas dominate the proceedings in any Tambrahm household. (Rest of the days also Mamis only dominate, but in this week openly and completely!!!) Those 9 days, Mamigala pidikka mudiyaathu. For a change, this piece is about Mamas and Navarathri.

These days, thanks to FB, the Golu tradition is back everywhere. Accordingly, the grind for the Mama starts 2/3 days ahead of the start of Navarathri. “Enna Mr, antha paran lenthu Golu bommai yellathayum eduthu kudungo.” Then one by one instructions fly past the Mamas thick and fast. The Mamis don’t need any SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) documentation for all these. They can just reel out one by one even in the middle of the night! Then other instructions follow:

Antha bommai yellathayum dust panni vechudungo. Naan poi, intha gift items, ithyaathi, ithyaathi items ellam vaangindu vanthudaren! Innikke pogaata nalla items onnum kadaikaathu! Apparam antha Golu padiyaiyum set up pannidungo. Naan vanthudaren!

The next 3 hours while the Mami is busy shopping, Mama is immersed in the above tasks. The son who religiously gives company for watching cricket matches appo paarthu will be missing in action! “Dei, Suresh! Inga Konjam varayaa? Intha dust pannina bommai yellathayum onnu onna eduthu vei paakalam” Illa Appa, enakku naalaikku cycle test. Naan padichindu irukken! Ennaala ippo vara mudiyaathu! Of course Mama’s generous advice of “illada, Konjam break eduthukko” falls in deaf ears!!

By the time the Mami is back from the shopping expedition, the assigned tasks are somehow done. In his athigaprasangithanam, the Mama attempts to do more for which archanai is soon to follow!!

Mami: Yenna, ivalavu varshama namma Golu vekkarom. Golu padi odd numberaa thaan irukkanumnu ongalukku theriyaatha? Kashtam! Yen ippadi 6 padiyaa erect panni vechurukkel?

Mama: Enakku theriyum! Antha last padi la clamp odanjuduthu! Giri trading la poi vera vaangindu varanum!

Mami: Ippo thaane vaanginom! Warranty la freeyaa kudukka chollungo!

Mama: Warrantyaa? Vaangi 3 varusham aachu? Normala ve antha Giri Trading la ellathukkum rules pesuvaa! Ithukku freeyaa ellaam replacement thara maatta!

Mami: Anyway, neenga ippave poi vaangindu vanthudungo. Naan Bommai yellam arrange panren!

Mama’s plan of a nice afternoon siesta goes for a toss! Also the 1st 15 overs of the 1st innings of the one day match – Govinda! The son’s sly remark of “Appa, naan record panni vekkaren! Don’t worry!” only adds to the irritation!

By the Mama returns, to his surprise the entire Golu set up is ready! Yenna, enna yetho clamp odanjuduthu nnu sonnel? Ippo paarungo! Mama of course asadu vazhinjundu, “Antha odanju pona clamp enna aachu?” Neenga enna Mechanical engineero? Antha kaalathula merit la REC admission kadachuthu, Gold Medallist nnu ellam sonnel?? Oru clamp fix panna mudiyala? Naan Suresh ta sonnen. Avan pathhu nimishathula panni kuduthuttaan! In Mama’s mind, son Suresh resembles villain Nambiar now! Dei, matchayum miss panni, ippadi vaangi kattika vendirukku!

“Enna, parkukku yethavathu oru nalla idea kudungalen! Neenga dhaane veetula Creative person!” This is how the Mama usually falls in the trap of giving ideas which any way get rejected and finally Mami’s will usually prevails. But anyway since he has been anointed as the Creative head of the family, he has to reel out a few ideas which he does obediently!

Mama: Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan theme la panninaa enna?

Mami: Modi Bhakt nnu ellaarum ninaika poraa!

Mama: Oru village, school, pond,.. appadi??

Mami: Rendu varsham munnai idha dhane panninom, maranthutela?

Mama: Namma Kitta niraya Animal bommai yellam irukke. Zoo maadiri???

Mami: O.K. I got a good idea! Oru Graamam maadiri pannittu, anga Swachh Bharat theme use pannidalaam!!

Mama: Sari! OK. Ithaye pannalaam (Manasukkulla – Naanum idha thaan sonnen!!!)

So finally the Navarathri starts and gets going! The Mami diligently works out a schedule for different groups as per age groups and other criteria and sends out invites thro WhatsApp inviting people to come home for Navarathri and take Vethala Paaku. That complex algorithm also takes care of not inviting rival Mamis on the same day even by mistake! The Mama of course has no clue on this algorithm and how the ladies have been grouped and invited!!! So conversations like this during Golu time are not of any surprise in a Tambrahm veedu.

Mami: Itha paarungo! Innikku namma ponnoda friends oda mothersa koopiturukken. Oru mundaa baniyanum, veshtuyuma nikkathel. Decenta oru shirtum pantuma nillungo!

And Mama: I thought y’day was all senior Mamis. How come today one senior Mami turned up?

Mami: This is senior Mami but part of my Zumba Dance group. Today I have clubbed the Zumba and my school groups!!

In this complex scheduling, the Mamis also have to allocate time for visiting other Mamis’ houses and collect their entitlements! In spite of the very minute and accurate planning and scheduling, these situations do invariably happen. Year after year.

Mami: Naan 8th floorla Lalitha Mami aathukku poyittu varen. Innikku yaaraiyum koopidalai. But still, yaaravathu vantha, konjam pechu kuduthindu irungo. Ennakku oru message podungo. Naan sattunnu vanthudaren! Pona varsham antha Kausalya Mami yoda periya vayatha paarthu – Pregnant polarukku? Congratulations nnu sonnele, athu madiri yellam olaraama irungo!

In similar situations, some Mamas are very smart and engage in conversations with Mamis knowing well the topic which works.

Mama: Enna Mami, US la payyan kitta konja naal irunthuttu vanthel polarukku?

This one liner is enough to start a flood gate of dialogues from the US return

Mami. For the next few minutes till the house Mami comes, the guest Mami will hold forth on Navarathri and Golu what she experienced in the US last year same time!

Guest Mami: “Anga mostly ellaarum “Green Navarathri” thaan. Ellam recyclable items thaan use pannara.”

So on and so forth. Mama wants to say,”Namma naatuleyum I know many Mamis who recycle everything from Vethalai, to Paaku to Cheepu to Kannaadi to return gifts”, but stops short of saying as the wife’s warning face which resembles Sudha Chandran’s character in some serials fleetingly appears in the front!!)

By the time house Mami is back, Mama has already got a complete download on the cultural scene in the US!! Of course the Mami firsts checks if there was any embarrassment during her brief absence kannaaleye!! Smart Mamas try to escape from all this by coming late from office during Navarathri. Or if at home, remain consigned to the bedroom till the vetthala paakku action gets over in the hall. The previous year an Extra TV in the bedroom was fixed precisely for these situations. Mama can continue watching Arnab Goswami without any break! Which suits the Mamis also. Otherwise more embarrassment can ensue like these:

As the Mama enters the house though late, still a few Mamis are around. So, the house Mami has no option but to introduce the guest Mamis to her husband.

Guest Mami: Enakku thaan ivara theriyume. FB la thaan naraya joke ellam post pannindu irukaare!

You can imagine the looks of the house Mami hearing this and what that means – Naane FB la ava kooda friends illa. Neenga connected aa????

And more stories like this. By the time the Navarathri comes to an end, the Mamis are a tired lot and the Mamas a relieved lot!! Relief of course only after all the bommais are packed properly and put back in the paran safely!!!

Happy Navarathri! Ongaathu Golu readya?